Me: Why are you and Dave sulking in the living room?
Nell: You know perfectly well why.
Me: No, I don’t.
Nell: Where were you?
Me: Kev and I popped next door for a cup of tea with our lovely neighbours Kate, Steve and Eliza who wanted to welcome us to the village.
Nell: They weren’t the only ones there, were they?
Me: Yes, they were.
Nell: You came back smelling of cat.
Me: Only of one cat, actually. Rosetta. Her brother Topaz wouldn’t let me anywhere near him.
Nell: I’m presuming Topaz is the marmalade cat who keeps staring at us over the fence.
Me: Eliza says he can be rather domineering at times but his sister Rosetta is an absolute sweetheart. She loves having her tummy tickled.
Nell: You do realise they’re most probably both in league with that dreadful hooligan Compton Pauncefoot, don’t you?
Me: No, they definitely aren’t. His name came up and they’re scared of him, too.
Nell: How did his name come up?
Me: I think it might have been me. I brought them a copy of my book and was telling them about you all.
Nell: Why bring that dreadful creature into it?
Me: They told me there’s a horrible cat who lives near here and attacks the others. It seems that even though Topaz can be a bit of a bully he isn’t actually that brave.
Nell: Bullies often aren’t.
Me: Exactly. So when I heard there was a particularly nasty creature around I wondered if it was Compton Pauncefoot.
Nell: What did they say?
Me: They agreed it might be.
Nell: I’ve been telling you this for ages and you wouldn’t listen. I knew that horrible animal was lurking in the vicinity.
Me: Well, I think you might be right. Sorry.
