Nell: Are you ready? The Easter Bonnet Parade is about to begin.

Me: Harriet can’t wear that odd handkerchief bonnet, Nell. It doesn’t suit her at all.

Nell: It’s unique. The Cat made it for her, especially.

Me: But it does nothing for her, Nell, and everyone else is wearing feathers.

Nell: Fortunately, you’re not one of the judges. Let her be. She likes it.

Me: Should I lend her mine?

Nell: What on earth is that?

Me: My Easter Bonnet.

Nell: It looks like a half-eaten fruit bowl.

Me: Dave was hungry.

Nell: David can’t be hungry. He’s already eaten two boiled eggs with a side of bacon and buttered toast.

Me: Is he going to make a speech about becoming mayor of the village?

Nell: Yes. David will be addressing the villagers at Sunday Songs. We thought he could begin with ‘My Way’.

Me: Is that a good idea?

Nell: It’s a crowd pleaser.

Me: It’s not very Eastery.

Nell: He’ll be distributing eggs.

Me: Chocolate ones?

Nell: Certainly not. Hard boiled and painted by Frau Hoffmann in the German tradition.

Me: Lovely. I think Nigel is going to turn a few heads in his feathered hat.

Nell: Yes, it suits him.

Me: And you look lovely, too. It’s just Harriet.

Nell: Don’t start that again. At least her bonnet is complete.

Me: I’m very glad the sun is shining. It’s so much nicer for the children when they go searching for eggs.

Nell: Yes. Easter is a special time for families.

Me: Alice sent me photos of them all.

Nell: How lovely. You must show them to me later.

Me: Happy Easter, Nell.

Nell: Happy Easter. Now, put that fruit bowl on your head and let’s join the parade. The llamas have started cartwheeling.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Can we talk about you rushing off on our walk?

Nell: I did not rush. I’m a Senior Labrador with arthritis. I don’t rush anywhere.

Me: I couldn’t keep up with you.

Nell: Your Wellington boots are too big. I’ve told you that before.

Me: My feet are in between a size 2 and 3 so I have to go for the 3. It’s always been a problem.

Nell: Wear thicker socks.

Me: I already am.

Nell: I’m afraid I have more important things to do today than discussing your boots.

Me: You started it.

Nell: I did not.

Me: Never mind. Why were you rushing?

Nell: Easter is a busy time of year.

Me: What’s your opinion on hot cross buns?

Nell: Nasty things.

Me: Really?

Nell: What on earth has a bun got to be hot, or cross, about?

Me: They’re not cross like that, Nell. They’ve got a cross on them and they’re hot because of the spice.

Nell: Give me a sensible bread roll any day. It knows what it is. None of those airs and graces.

Me: Well, Herr Hoffmann is going to bake both so you can choose.

Nell: There’s been talk of Roast Turkey tomorrow. Timothy has had to go on another retreat.

Me: I know it’s traditionally Roast Lamb at Easter but Kev won’t eat it.

Nell: David has requested Roast Beef.

Me: Dave always asks for beef. Turkey goes much further and we have a lot of guests.

Nell: I see what you mean. Everyone is going to be very hungry after the Easter Parade and at least there will be sausages and stuffing with a turkey.

Me: I’m glad you agree.

Nell: I’m an agreeable animal.

Me: When you want to be.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: Sorry.

Nell: What is David doing?

Me: He’s looking out across the countryside like a king surveying his realm.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: He’s truly regal.

Nell: He’s going to fall off that bank if he climbs any higher.

Me: Nonsense. He’s perfectly safe. Let him have his magnificent moment.

Nell: I suppose he should enjoy it while he can.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: I’m afraid his days as Mayor of Kingsbridge are over.

Me: Why?

Nell: We’ve moved out of the area.

Me: Only a little bit.

Nell: A little bit is all that’s needed. He no longer qualifies.

Me: Does he know?

Nell: Not yet. We thought he should enjoy Easter first.

Me: Could he be mayor of somewhere else?

Nell: Totnes. But it’s a big town. There will be stiff competition.

Me: He can do it. Just look at him. Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Personally, I think he should continue as Mayor of Kingsbridge. Nobody minds if he lives somewhere else.

Me: Don’t they?

Nell: Not if we don’t tell them.

Me: I’m not sure it works quite like that.

Nell: I think we carry on as is until someone tells us to stop.

Me: Which they will.

Nell: Then we will campaign.

Me: Maybe he could be mayor of the village?

Nell: That’s an interesting idea.

Me: Although we’ve only just moved here. People don’t really know us yet.

Nell: They definitely know us. Don’t you worry. The llamas have seen to that, not to mention the Welsh corgi choir and the Whippets Institute Big Band.

Me: The Easter Bonnet Parade would be the perfect opportunity for David to launch his campaign.

Nell: Yes, he can wear his mayoral hat and chain.

Me: Even if it’s actually a dog lead.

Nell: Enough.

Me: Sorry.

Me: I love the way you and Harriet are cuddling together in your dog bed. It’s the sweetest thing.

Nell: I find myself enjoying a cuddle rather more now I’m getting older.

Me: I’m the same. I had lots of hugs at my Wednesday Writers afternoon tea yesterday and it was lovely.

Nell: I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.

Me: I did. There is something very special about being around like-minded people.

Nell: And being by the sea?

Me: It was beautiful, Nell.

Nell: And the Cottage Hotel?

Me: As welcoming as ever. It’s always like coming home when I go there.

Nell: Did you have a delicious cream tea?

Me: I certainly did.

Nell: I’m delighted for you.

Me: You don’t sound delighted. I’m sure Herr Hoffmann will make us all an Easter cream tea at the weekend.

Nell: Actually, I’m invited to The Cat’s for tea this afternoon.

Me: Well, that’s something to look forward to.

Nell: Yes. You’re coming too.

Me: Am I?

Nell: The Cat wants to check your Easter bonnet.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: You have finished it, haven’t you?

Me: I was going to, but life got in the way.

Nell: Absolutely no excuse.

Me: Hopefully The Cat will be able to do something about it.

Nell: Nigel is arriving for the weekend tomorrow. Is his room ready?

Me: Yes.

Nell: He’s had to sleep on the floor surrounded by boxes for the past few weeks and that really isn’t the way to treat a guest.

Me: The room is almost clear now.

Nell: It had better be ready by June.

Me: Why?

Nell: Chris is coming to stay with us.

Me: Of course. I’m so excited. More cuddles for me.

Nell: More cuddles for everyone. Now, go and fetch your bonnet.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: It’s funny how round you labs can appear from a certain angle. Harriet looks quite portly and so does Davey.

Nell: Don’t call him Davey.

Me: He doesn’t mind.

Nell: Now, you’re still very busy but you have to take Harriet down to the sea soon. She’s pining for it.

Me: It’s just so much further away now.

Nell: I know and the beaches are full of Grockles on their Easter holidays.

Me: You shouldn’t call the tourists that.

Nell: They don’t know.

Me: I’d take her with me this afternoon if I could, but dogs aren’t invited.

Nell: Take her where?

Me: The Cottage Hotel. I’m going to a Wednesday Writers afternoon tea.

Nell: At the Cottage Hotel?

Me: Yes.

Nell: My favourite place?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Never mind Harriet. What about me?

Me: You can’t come, Nell. None of you can.

Nell: I don’t believe this.

Me: I haven’t seen the other writers in person for absolutely ages.

Nell: Take some photos to remind us of what we’re missing.

Me: Don’t be like that.

Nell: I’m only joking. Have a lovely time. You deserve it.

Me: Thank you.

Nell: Harriet isn’t the only one missing the sea. I know you are, too.

Me: Yes, It will do me good.

Nell: It definitely will. And I wasn’t joking about the photos.

Me: I think the Puppies are missing our window.

Nell: We all are.

Me: It’s strange having a bus stop across the road.

Nell: Some would call it convenient.

Me: Yes. Kev and I are going to get our bus passes when he turns 66 in August.

Nell: Something to look forward to.

Me: I suppose so.

Nell: Will there be scones this afternoon?

Me: Yes, with jam and clotted cream.

Nell: I thought so.

Me: Sorry.

Me: It’s good to see the Puppies back together again.

Nell: They are going to be 8 in June.

Me: They’ll always be the Puppies to me.

Nell: David seems to have regained his appetite.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He never really lost it.

Nell: He wasn’t himself when Harriet was away.

Me: No, he wasn’t. You’d think he would be the dominant one because of his size but it’s really Harriet who rules the roost.

Nell: Roost? They’re not chickens.

Me: You know what I mean. For all her quiet ways and delicate beauty Harriet is a force to be reckoned with.

Nell: She’s her aunt’s niece.

Me: You don’t have quiet ways, Nell.

Nell: I can be quiet.

Me: Since you’ve started to lose your hearing a little you’ve become extremely loud.

Nell: Balderdash! That’s complete and utter nonsense.

Me: You’re shouting again.

Nell: Of course I am. I can hear as well as the next Labrador.

Me: Only if it’s 13.

Nell: Very funny.

Me: The Cat’s invited me over for tea today at the Stately Home.

Nell: Why?

Me: It saw the state of my Easter bonnet and took pity on me.

Nell: You can’t just choose a hat from its Dressing Up Box. It needs to be homemade.

Me: I know but The Cat says it has a few adornments that might help.

Nell: As long as it isn’t a bowl of fruit. Do you remember when Gladys dressed as Carmen Miranda?

Me: I do.

Nell: There was fruit everywhere.

Me: She shouldn’t have performed an interpretive dance.

Nell: We were picking up grapes for days.

Me: Although, I did see a rather nice pineapple going spare that might give me some height.

Nell: No fruit. Learn from Gladys’s mistakes.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Wasn’t that a lovely surprise?

Nell: Yes, it was.

Me: Walking down our lane and seeing our darling Harriet running towards us.

Nell: She ran away again.

Me: Only because she wanted to go back and see the others.

Nell: She should never have gone in the first place.

Me: She wanted to spend some time with Jim the Farm Dog.

Nell: She should have told us she was going to do that instead of running off.

Me: I think it came upon her all of a sudden.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: It can happen. One minute you’re happily buying eggs and the next you’re running back to see your old love.

Nell: Something which has never happened to me once.

Me: No, it hasn’t to me, either. But I can imagine it.

Nell: You can imagine anything. You have far too much imagination for your own good, if you ask me.

Me: I don’t think you can ever have too much imagination.

Nell: You wouldn’t. Now, moving on, we should discuss Easter.

Me: Fine.

Nell: I realise there will be chocolate in the house and I don’t want you leaving it around.

Me: No, of course not.

Nell: Chocolate is dangerous for most animals.

Me: Yes, I know.

Nell: And we have some known for Eating by Mistake.

Me: We do.

Nell: On Sunday there will be an Easter Bonnet Parade through the village.

Me: How lovely.

Nell: Where all animals will be asked to wear their pawmade bonnets.

Me: I can’t wait to see it.

Nell: You’re going to be in it.

Me: I am?

Nell: Yes. So you had best start working on your bonnet.

Me: But I’m not very crafty.

Nell: Stop talking like a llama. You can do it.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: What on earth is all that barking about?

Nell: It’s Nigel.

Me: It’s Sunday morning, Nell. He’s going to disturb the neighbours.

Nell: He doesn’t care. Harriet hasn’t come home and he blames The Stuffed Tiger.

Me: The Stuffed Tiger has nothing to do with Harriet leaving.

Nell: It’s imprisoned the Cuddle Nells, too.

Me: No. When we moved I was worried it might feel lonely on top of the chest of drawers and thought the Cuddle Nells could keep it company.

Nell: It knew Harriet was planning on running away and it never told anyone.

Me: Harriet hasn’t run anyway.

Nell: She said she was getting eggs and now she’s gone.

Me: We know where Harriet is. She’s staying a few days with Jim the Farm Dog.

Nell: David is distraught.

Me: I know he is.

Nell: He only ate two bacon sandwiches and he’s considering a small portion of Sunday roast.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: With no Yorkshire puddings, or gravy.

Me: Well, that’s never going to happen.

Nell: Nobody wants to go to Sunday Songs.

Me: That’s not true. I saw the Welsh Corgi Choir walking through the village in their Sunday hats.

Nell: Harriet should be here. That tiger is behind it all. Mark my words.

Me: I don’t know why you and Nigel are so distrustful of it.

Nell: Have you seen the way it’s wrapped his paws around the Cuddle Nells?

Me: It’s just being kind.

Nell: I’ve had enough. Pass me my handbag. I’m calling Harriet. It’s Sunday and she should be here with the family.

Me: Don’t interfere, Nell. Let her have some time with Jim.

Nell: Where’s my iBone? Why are there crumbs all over it?

Me: Dave was texting Harriet on it while he was comfort eating biscuits. Sorry.

Me: We could spend a whole afternoon watching Harriet coming and going, couldn’t we?

Nell: Yes. She never stays anywhere very long.

Me: But she always comes back.

Nell: True, although I’m never quite sure where from.

Me: We’ve been spoilt with this glorious weather, haven’t we?

Nell: It’s about to change. April showers are on their way.

Me: Well, they’re not here yet, Mrs Grumpy Guts.

Nell: Just saying.

Me: Chris says they had snow in Toronto.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Funny to think it’s snowing over in Canada when people are swimming in the sea here.

Nell: I’m not sure the Canadians find it funny.

Me: They’re a hardy bunch. Snow is nothing to them.

Nell: There was some serious discussion about cutbacks at Morning Thoughts today.

Me: What cutbacks?

Nell: David says two boiled eggs might not be enough for his breakfast.

Me: They never are.

Nell: Living in a village is making him very hungry.

Me: That’s nonsense, Nell, and you know it.

Nell: David says there is a real possibility of him Eating by Mistake.

Me: Nothing new there.

Nell: And Herr Hoffmann says he can’t just dish out eggs to all and sundry.

Me: I see.

Nell: He has Easter Cakes to bake.

Me: Oh yes, I’d forgotten about Easter. Isn’t the whole idea to dish out eggs? See what I did there?

Nell: Very droll.

Me: I’m sure we could get some more eggs from the farm next door.

Nell: Harriet’s already gone.

Me: Good.

Nell: But she hasn’t come back yet.

Me: She will. She always does.

Nell: I hope so. She’s been gone a long time and it’s only over the road.

Me: You sound worried.

Nell: I’m beginning to think she’s gone back to another farm.

Me: Oh dear. Sorry.

Nell: David would like you to know he’s not happy.

Me: Oh dear. Why isn’t my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy happy?

Nell: There are no pictures on the walls. In fact, someone just threw them on the floor.

Me: We’ve put them next to my chair while we work out where they’re going to go.

Nell: David has also been allocated the oldest slightly damaged bed.

Me: Harriet is fast asleep in her bed and you’re in your new one.

Nell: He needs space.

Me: Did Dave actually say any of these things?

Nell: He didn’t need to. I could read it in his eyes.

Me: Absolute nonsense. Dave is fine. Nigel is coming to visit us for the weekend so he’s going to be over the moon.

Nell: And there aren’t enough cushions on your chair. He’s a large animal.

Me: If Dave made any of those complaints, and I don’t believe he did, he would have told me first.

Nell: He doesn’t want to trouble you.

Me: He’s my boy. He’s never going to trouble me.

Nell: Just saying.

Me: Some of you have noticed we have a few new followers who don’t know us very well so I’d like to thank you for explaining to them that Nell is fine and never left alone.

Nell: Of course I’m not alone. Kev even sleeps downstairs on the sofa next to me because I can’t get upstairs anymore.

Me: Yes, he does.

Nell: And David and Harriet share the big bed with you.

Me: They do if they want to.

Nell: None of us are alone. We are always there for each other.

Me: We are and I am thankful for it every day.

Nell: No tears. David says he doesn’t like it when you cry.

Me: Sorry.