Me: You can’t keep doing that.
Nell: Doing what?
Me: Smiling nicely for a biscuit and then putting on a sad face if I don’t give you another one immediately.
Nell: I was doing nothing of the sort.
Me: When we started walking you were all smiley so I gave you a biscuit.
Nell: And then we walked for miles and miles along the river bank and Kev kept stopping and pointing.
Me: There were ducks.
Nell: I told you we should have brought sandwiches and a flask of tea but you never listen.
Me: You can’t have a biscuit every few steps.
Nell: I need it.
Me: You sit down and won’t move. It’s very naughty.
Nell: I’ll tell you who’s very naughty. David.
Me: Dave’s a good boy. He and Nigel kept crossing leads, but otherwise they did well.
Nell: I’m not talking about our walk. I’m talking about his work. David is on his final warning at Beefy Bacon Baps.
Me: How do you know?
Nell: Lionel told me.
Me: Have you been seeing Lionel King?
Nell: No. He left a voice message for me on WoofsApp.
Me: What did it say?
Nell: ‘If Dave doesn’t cooperate his days are numbered.’
Me: What?
Nell: It ended ‘This is a final warning.’
Me: Are you serious?
Nell: Yes. You can listen to it if you like.
Me: We have to send it to Sally right now.
Nell: Why? He’s probably been stealing the bacon.
Me: Don’t you realise what Lionel is saying?
Nell: David is going to lose his job.
Me: He’s going to lose much more than that.
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: Where is he?
Nell: At the beach. He went straight there after our walk.
Me: We have to go. Dave’s in danger. Sorry.
