Me: What I’d like to know is why you have to get so involved in all this seaweed?
Nell: Involved?
Me: You and Dave actually climbed into the middle of it and then you sat down. It must have been awfully unpleasant.
Nell: Have you ever sat down on a pile of seaweed?
Me: I can’t say I have.
Nell: Well, don’t make judgements. It’s surprisingly comfortable.
Me: Really? It doesn’t look comfortable.
Nell: It’s rather bouncy with a natural warmth. You should try it.
Me: I don’t think I will. Thank you. There might be all sorts in there.
Nell: There might be all sorts everywhere.
Me: True. Did you find anything? Harriet was doing some super sniffing.
Nell: Everything will be recorded in our report.
Me: What report?
Nell: The Sniffing Report. Do keep up.
Me: Will I be able to read it?
Nell: Certainly not. It’s FSEO.
Me: FSEO?
Nell: For Sally’s Eyes Only.
Me: Well, that’s not true, for a start. You’ll have seen it and so will Harriet and Dave.
Nell: Don’t forget The Cat.
Me: I can’t see The Cat sniffing seaweed.
Nell: Of course not. The Cat doesn’t do beaches. It’s focusing on Interiors.
Me: Last seen it was drinking coffee and eating smoked salmon sandwiches in our kitchen.
Nell: All part of the planning process.
Me: It was wearing a silken dressing gown and a wide brimmed hat.
Nell: With feathers?
Me: Yes.
Nell: Interesting.
Me: Personally, I don’t think it’s doing any Sniffing at all. It’s just gossiping with Frau Hoffmann.
Nell: Don’t dismiss gossiping. My friend Dorothy and I have uncovered many a secret that way.
Me: If The Cat can wear a hat then why can’t I?
Nell: There are hats and hats. And yours isn’t.
Me: Oh. Sorry.
