Me: You weren’t really listening to me when we were down on the beach, were you?
Nell: Have you made up the bed in the back bedroom yet?
Me: I suggested you have a drink of water from the stream and you ignored me.
Nell: We want everything to be ready for your sister Charlotte and Nigel.
Me: Dave had a good long drink. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: We don’t know what time they’ll be arriving so it’s best to be prepared.
Me: In fact, you’re not listening to me now.
Nell: I know they’re family but I still feel people shouldn’t have to climb over boxes to get into bed.
Me: Kev’s moved the boxes. All I have to do is fetch the bedding.
Nell: No time like the present.
Me: I’ve got plenty of time. Let me enjoy my Saturday morning.
Nell: Herr Hoffmann’s been up for hours.
Me: He’s always up early to bake the bread.
Nell: You missed Gliding with Gladys.
Me: My gliding days are over.
Nell: The llamas were particularly skittish today.
Me: Why?
Nell: Sugar low. They were fine after a couple of bananas.
Me: Do llamas eat bananas?
Nell: I just told you they do. Do try and listen.
Me: That’s rich coming from you.
Nell: Llamas love fruit. Babycakes Gillespie always makes sure he has some in his coffee cart.
Me: How thoughtful.
Nell: It’s self preservation. Llamas spit when they’re agitated.
Me: I don’t blame them.
Nell: It can get very messy. We had to hose down one of the Welsh Corgi Choir.
Me: I thought it had been out in the rain.
Nell: Corgis love a good glide.
Me: Really?
Nell: Yes. Didn’t you notice its leg warmers?
Me: I thought they were a fashion statement. Sorry.
