Nell: Why have you taken a photo of the back of David’s head?
Me: Look what he’s doing?
Nell: He’s sitting on your bed.
Me: Yes, and he’s looking at himself in the mirror.
Nell: No. He’s looking at the Other David.
Me: There isn’t another Dave.
Nell: Oh yes, there is.
Me: It’s a mirror.
Nell: That’s where the Other David lives. The Other Nell lives there, too. I try not to encourage her, of course, but I know she’s there.
Me: No. It’s you, Nell. It’s your reflection.
Nell: The best thing to do is to ignore them. They love attention. David says the Other David can play Cheeky Animals for hours and never looks away.
Me: That’s because there isn’t an Other David.
Nell: It’s fine. You live in your fantasy world. Back in the real world we choose to ignore them.
Me: I am in the real world.
Nell: Yes, right. Moving on, your idea of leg warmers for spiders has gone down really well.
Me: Has it?
Nell: Yes. The llamas have had leg warmers for years and Count Bingo Flamingo always makes sure his flamingos wear them in winter but the insects have been sadly neglected.
Me: They’re going to need sturdy legs to wear them. The Daddy Long Legs haven’t got a chance.
Nell: Yes. Rupert agrees. Fortunately the mice have it down to a fine art.
Me: What mice?
Nell: The Knitting Mice. They do all the delicate work for Knitwear Wolf.
Me: I thought the corgis did the knitting.
Nell: Corgis can only do so much. Have you seen their paws?
Me: They have sturdy little legs.
Nell: Sturdy little legs are not going to help knit leg warmers for spiders. Do try and be a little realistic.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
