I Need A Word With You

Nell: I need a word with you before Sunday Songs.

Me: What have I done now?

Nell: Keep your voice down.

Me: Why?

Nell: Anyone could be listening.

Me: There’s nobody here except for the Stuffed Tiger.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: It’s stuffed.

Nell: Look at your desk.

Me: Why?

Nell: Anything missing?

Me: No.

Nell: Are you sure?

Me: I think so.

Nell: How can you not have noticed they’ve gone?

Me: Who’s gone?

Nell: They’ve been keeping you company for the past three weeks.

Me: Are you talking about the Cuddle Nells?

Nell: Of course I am. Goodness only knows who’s taken them. I blame that tiger.

Me: I’ve sent them back to Canterbury Bears.

Nell: How could you?

Me: We need to make some changes before people can start to pre-order.

Nell: So this is what it’s come to, is it?

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: Anyone less than perfect is simply sent away.

Me: They’re coming back, Nell. I told Canterbury Bears we’d fallen in love with them.

Nell: I wouldn’t say ‘love’ exactly, but I’ve grown rather fond of them.

Me: I miss them, too, but they’re needed in the Canterbury Bears workshop at the moment to help create the final Nell.

Nell: I thought the Stuffed Tiger might have driven them out.

Me: I’m not sure it cares.

Nell: It cares about biscuits. Mothew found a half eaten one on the top of the wardrobe.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: It’s not getting any roast potatoes. And if I find a Yorkshire pudding’s gone missing there will be trouble.

Me: You can’t have Yorkshire pudding without gravy, Nell.

Nell: What’s that got to do with it?

Me: Nobody’s going to eat gravy on top of a wardrobe.

Nell: I hope you’re right.

Me: Yes. Sorry.