Nell: Nice photos of Harriet in the river.
Me: Water is her happy place.
Nell: It’s election day today.
Me: I know. Kev and I will be voting later.
Nell: I’m not sure you can.
Me: Of course we can, and it’s extremely important that we do.
Nell: You’re not insects.
Me: What on earth are you talking about?
Nell: Nobody has a chance against Henry and Horst, anyway. Did you read their manifesto?
Me: Manifesto?
Nell: Sidney the spider tried to campaign against them once, and so did a couple of ambitious ants, but no one understands the needs of the insect community like Henry and Horst.
Me: They’re woodlice.
Nell: I know.
Me: Aren’t woodlice crustaceans?
Nell: Potato, potahto. The insect world is diverse and inclusive.
Me: Shouldn’t there only be one candidate?
Nell: Henry and Horst go together. Always have done, always will.
Me: Like strawberries and cream.
Nell: Or you and me.
Me: What a lovely thing to say, Nell. Would I be your co-prime minister if you were up for election?
Nell: Certainly not. Who mentioned prime minister?
Me: Henry and Horst are going to be prime ministers, aren’t they?
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. Insects don’t have prime ministers.
Me: What do they have? Presidents?
Nell: No, of course not.
Me: It can’t be head bugs because that sounds too itchy.
Nell: Stop wittering on. Henry and Horst are going to be the Insect Grand Masters, and I can’t think of anyone better. They are always calm, cool and collected in any situation.
Me: I hope all this power doesn’t go to their heads.
Nell: Being Mayor of Kingsbridge hasn’t gone to David’s head.
Me: He did ask for an extra bacon sandwich this morning.
Nell: He asked. He didn’t take.
Me: You’re right. Sorry.
