Nell: You’re not going to believe this.
Me: Has the ceremony taken place?
Nell: It has.
Me: Did you meet the King?
Nell: We did not.
Me: Was it Prince William?
Nell: No.
Me: The Princess Royal?
Nell: No. It was Bluebell and Beth.
Me: Who are Bluebell and Beth?
Nell: They’re royal Jack Russells with humble beginnings.
Me: How exciting.
Nell: The King rescued them from Battersea Dogs and Cats Home.
Me: How wonderful.
Nell: And he asked them to perform the ceremony.
Me: Was Dave very disappointed?
Nell: David wasn’t disappointed at all. He isn’t that kind of animal.
Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: I was, however.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: I had so many things I wanted to discuss with the King. Starting with Beach Restrictions.
Me: I’m not sure that would have been the right time or place, Nell.
Nell: It doesn’t matter now, anyway.
Me: Is Dave wearing a crown?
Nell: Yes, but it’s not real gold.
Me: I didn’t think it would be. Are you still at Buckingham Palace?
Nell: Yes. We’re in the gardens.
Me: That’s nice. Who are all the other dogs?
Nell: That’s the unbelievable part.
Me: Tell me.
Nell: David isn’t the only winner.
Me: What?
Nell: He’s Best Mayor.
Me: Thank goodness for that.
Nell: But the West Highland Terrier is Almost Best Mayor and that slinky Weimaraner is Nearly Best Mayor.
Me: Well, that’s fair enough, isn’t it?
Nell: Second placed animals should not wear crowns.
Me: The Weimaraner is wearing a tiara.
Nell: I know.
Me: It seems perfectly contented.
Nell: It is.
Me: Well, I think you should all just enjoy yourselves. It’s David’s special day and what’s the harm in sharing it with others?
Nell: You’re right.
Me: I am, aren’t I? Sorry.
