Me: Could we have a quick chat, please?
Nell: Can I finish my boiled egg first?
Me: You can eat while we’re talking.
Nell: It’s very rude to talk with your mouth full.
Me: I’ll do the talking.
Nell: Fine with me. What do you want to talk about?
Me: Naughtiness.
Nell: You’d be much better off talking to David about that.
Me: No. Dave was a Very Good Boy.
Nell: I thought he was a Big Brave Beautiful Boy?
Me: He’s that, too.
Nell: Well, he ate the Beefies’ crusts this morning. Some might call that brave, but I think it’s foolish and naughty.
Me: You would know.
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: There’s some kind of leaf you keep eating down at the river bank that makes you take risks.
Nell: Nonsense.
Me: I don’t know what it is, but you go dangerously close to the edge of the river to get it.
Nell: I’m fine.
Me: The river is flowing really quickly at the moment and you’re a senior animal with arthritic joints.
Nell: There’s no need to remind me.
Me: I worry you’re going to fall in.
Nell: Well, I’m not.
Me: I ask you not to and you don’t listen. And Harriet doesn’t listen either.
Nell: Doesn’t she?
Me: She is down the river bank and in and out of the water constantly.
Nell: It’s the Call of the Wild.
Me: It’s too dangerous at the moment.
Nell: Harriet loves to Dance with Danger.
Me: Stop saying that.
Nell: I’m joking. Harriet was paddling and I was simply enjoying a light snack of fresh leaves. Nothing more.
Me: I worry about you.
Nell: I know you do.
Me: Not listening is Naughty.
Nell: Then listen to me now. We’re absolutely fine.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
