Nell: Why is David the Champion of Champions?
Me: He isn’t.
Nell: Harriet is much better at Retrieving and I walked through those poles.
Me: You didn’t, Nell. You walked near the poles on your Sniffari.
Nell: Same thing.
Me: None of you ever do any of the activities in the Activity Field.
Nell: David shouldn’t have climbed onto the Winners Podium.
Me: I thought he looked adorable. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: You know he’s expecting a gold medal?
Me: Nonsense.
Nell: I heard him talking to Sally on WoofsApp.
Me: You shouldn’t have been eavesdropping.
Nell: David’s already the Mayor of Kingsbridge. He has no need to be the Champion of Champions.
Me: He isn’t.
Nell: There must be hundreds of willing whippets and keen collies more deserving than David.
Me: It’s just a misunderstanding.
Nell: There’s even talk of a cake and sandwiches. Crusts off.
Me: When?
Nell: At the Winners Tea.
Me: What Winners Tea?
Nell: The one in the field. Everyone’s invited.
Me: It’s news to me. When’s it taking place?
Nell: On Easter Sunday and we’ve all got to wear hats. Ask The Cat.
Me: That’s Easter Sunday Tea. It has nothing to do with winners.
Nell: What about Best Hat?
Me: Well, there’s always a prize for Best Hat at Easter.
Nell: I knew it.
Me: Best Hat isn’t Champion of Champions.
Nell: David thinks it is.
Me: We haven’t even seen his hat yet.
Nell: There’s no need. It’s obviously a foregone conclusion.
Me: The judges will decide who wins on the day.
Nell: Who are the judges?
Me: I think the Mayor of Kingsbridge is usually one of them.
Nell: There you are.
Me: Dave can’t vote for himself.
Nell: Has anyone told him that?
Me: I don’t know. Sorry.
