Me: Was that you, Nell?
Nell: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Me: I think it was.
Nell: Stuff and nonsense.
Me: Dave thinks it was you, too.
Nell: David’s in no position to comment.
Me: Actually, he is.
Nell: It was probably him, anyway.
Me: That’s unfair. Dave’s not much of a trumpeter. Thank goodness. You’re the one who eats lots of vegetables.
Nell: Could we move on, please?
Me: Of course.
Nell: John Mane is arriving soon and you’re not even dressed.
Me: I like to write in my pyjamas.
Nell: You can’t ride in them.
Me: Ride?
Nell: Where are your jodhpurs and riding boots?
Me: I don’t have any.
Nell: And you’ll need a hard hat. The Cat was hoping a cowboy hat would do, but Health and Safety said it wouldn’t.
Me: Health and Safety?
Nell: My nickname for Henry and Horst. They like to play by the rules.
Me: I’m not riding John Mane to Burgh Island.
Nell: You have to.
Me: Why?
Nell: It turns out David was only offered the Agatha Christie Beach House because he said you were coming and needed to write.
Me: So, along with needing to write, I also need to bring a horse and a giant Labrador?
Nell: Possibly two Labradors. Harriet hasn’t decided if she’s joining us.
Me: Why don’t we make it three Labradors while we’re at it? Then you can come along, too.
Nell: Don’t worry about me. I’m going in Rupert’s side car.
Me: I don’t believe this.
Nell: We might as well have a little holiday. The Beach House is quite big.
Me: Don’t you think the Beefies might notice?
Nell: It’s the perfect cover for being on the island. Now, get dressed. John will be here soon.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
