Me: Yesterday turned out to be a bit of a strange day.

Nell: It certainly did.

Me: The birthday part was lovely. Lots of good wishes came my way. Thank you everyone.

Nell: And people can now support us on Facebook by subscribing.

Me: Yes, the button is on the Conversations with Nell page.

Nell: You had some lovely presents and FaceTimed with Alice and the family.

Me: Faye is getting really tall.

Nell: But our trip to the river turned into a disaster.

Me: It certainly did.

Nell: I knew something was wrong when we heard that loud bang.

Me: There was a pothole in the road and it damaged the fuel tank.

Nell: Kev turned the car around and drove us straight home.

Me: We only just got there.

Nell: The AA came out and towed the car to the garage where it will remain until it can be fixed.

Me: It’s going to cost us quite a lot.

Nell: Is that why you didn’t go out to dinner?

Me: Dinner at home was absolutely lovely. We can go another time.

Nell: These things happen.

Me: Yes, they do and we still enjoyed our walk in the orchard. You dogs always make the most of it.

Nell: We were being watched while we were there.

Me: It’s a communal orchard, Nell.

Nell: Not by our neighbours.

Me: Were the llamas cartwheeling in the fields?

Nell: No, the Beefies were monitoring our every move. David spotted them at once.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: And worse than that.

Me: Worse?

Nell: They were eating scones.

Me: Scones?

Nell: You’re doing that repeating thing again.

Me: Why are scones significant?

Nell: Poppy’s recipe book is missing.

Me: And you think they stole it?

Nell: Sherlock Martin strikes again.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: I love these photos but I’m not sure I need to be in all of them.

Nell: It’s your birthday.

Me: Nevertheless.

Nell: We should discuss the latest news.

Me: Yes. Facebook contacted me yesterday to tell me as a rising creator I’m now entitled to bonuses from likes, comments and shares on my posts on the Conversations with Nell page.

Nell: You asked everyone to help.

Me: The response has been amazing.

Nell: People can also send you stars and subscribe here https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/conversationswithnell/.

Me: I’ve set the amount really low in the hope you’ll all subscribe.

Nell: They will.

Me: Whatever happens it’s lovely to receive some recognition of my writing and conversations.

Nell: Our conversations.

Me: Of course.

Nell: We’ve been doing this every day for six years.

Me: It’s been quite a journey and I’m thankful to have you all with me.

Nell: Anyway, in true Martin tradition I’ve written you a poem. Would you like to hear it?

Me: Very much.

Nell: ‘A very special someone

Much loved by us all.

A round sort of person

One would classify as small.

Has a birthday today.

Or so I’ve been told.

And has reached a great age

Making her rather old.’

Me: ‘Rather old’ isn’t very nice, Nell.

Nell: Tell me about it. May I continue?

Me: Yes.

Nell: ‘There has to be bubbles.

There must be a cake.

And singing and dancing

And a large juicy steak.’

Me: I don’t want a steak.

Nell: It’s not all about you.

Me: I thought it was.

Nell: ‘In short, dearest Sara,

Happy Birthday to you.

We love what you write

So keep doing what you do.’

Me: I will.

Nell: I know you will, because I’ll be by your side. You and me. Always.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: There’s nothing like a walk on the beach in the winter sunshine.

Nell: I agree. It was absolutely delightful. Harriet was in and out of the water and I even paddled.

Me: And a Sunday walk is especially wonderful when followed by a cheeky hot chocolate at the Gastrobus with whipped cream on the top.

Nell: Your favourite.

Me: I thought Kev was getting my usual decaf tea but he came back with a treat.

Nell: It’s your birthday weekend. A time for spoiling.

Me: But in all the excitement I forgot it was Shannon’s birthday.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: I mean I hadn’t really forgotten. Chris took a present back to Toronto for her.

Nell: She will appreciate that.

Me: As long as she knows she’s loved by us all.

Nell: She knows. Marvin said she had a lovely relaxing day with lots of cuddles.

Me: I’m glad.

Nell: Now, your sister Charlotte is coming to lunch today for an early celebration and Lionel wondered if salad would be sufficient.

Me: Of course.

Nell: He wants to start on making your birthday cake as soon as he can find Poppy’s recipe book.

Me: Has it gone missing?

Nell: Not really. It’s probably just been mislaid.

Me: It’s awfully precious, Nell. It has all her recipes in it.

Nell: I am aware of that. Rest assured we will find it.

Me: I hope so.

Nell: I can’t think where it has gone.

Me: That lion had better not have stolen it.

Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. Lionel has no need to steal it. He uses it every day.

Me: Just saying.

Nell: Stop making unnecessary accusations and concentrate on enjoying your pre-birthday breakfast. David’s made you a dippy egg and only eaten a few of the soldiers.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: So, here’s the thing.

Nell: Whatever that means.

Me: Dave likes to lie near you if he can.

Nell: Yes, I know he does. He’s quite needy in that way.

Me: How unkind. He’s a bundle of loveliness and affection. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: If you say so.

Me: But you can be rather standoffish.

Nell: I simply like my own space.

Me: And you hog the whole of the sofa.

Nell: Hog is not a very nice word.

Me: Appropriate then. Anyway, Dave was minding his own business lying quietly on the hard floor next to your comfy sofa when you deliberately pushed a cushion on to his head.

Nell: It didn’t fall on his head.

Me: You were pretending to be asleep but secretly you were planning your attack.

Nell: Stuff and nonsense.

Me: I saw it.

Nell: The cushion had to go. It was in my way. End of story. David just happened to be there.

Me: Fortunately Dave is a caring soul and didn’t take it the wrong way. You woke him up.

Nell: It didn’t bother him at all. He started playing Cheeky Animals with no one in particular.

Me: He was just licking his lips.

Nell: Now, Sunday Songs is dedicated to you today.

Me: How lovely.

Nell: It’s your birthday weekend so you have to be celebrated.

Me: Can I choose the songs?

Nell: Don’t be silly. The songs were chosen weeks ago. These things don’t just happen. The Welsh Corgi Choir have been practising for weeks.

Me: How kind.

Nell: The Cat and its crew have spent hours sewing sequins into those costumes.

Me: What crew?

Nell: Never you mind. And llamas aren’t natural roller skaters. There’s been an awful lot of falling over. Be thankful.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Fun was had in the activity field.

Nell: Yes, it was.

Me: Not necessarily doing any of the activities.

Nell: Harriet played with her ball.

Me: She adores chasing it.

Nell: David ran and ran.

Me: I love seeing him do that. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He’s such a magnificent animal.

Nell: And Kev and I took our time walking the perimeter.

Me: It’s not a prison yard.

Nell: I know that. We just enjoy walking around the edge.

Me: With a break for the occasional sniffari.

Nell: I noticed you sat down for a while.

Me: I did. I was awfully tired after getting the house ready for the viewing and then I had a migraine just before we went out.

Nell: It will be the stress of it all. I think a quiet weekend is called for, don’t you?

Me: Yes. It’s my birthday weekend so I can do no wrong.

Nell: Your birthday isn’t until Tuesday.

Me: I know but Kev said I’m allowed the weekend too.

Nell: That’s fine with me. Expect several days of treats and cuddles.

Me: I can’t think of anything nicer.

Nell: How did the house viewing go, by the way? Any feedback from the estate agents?

Me: The lady liked the house. She hasn’t put hers on the market yet, but at least she appreciated it. She even had a quick chat with our next door neighbours.

Nell: Good. Any sign of rooks?

Me: No, and Herr Hoffmann stayed asleep, too.

Nell: Thank goodness for that.

Me: Someone’s going to come along and fall in love with the house.

Nell: Yes.

Me: Until then I shall treasure every day we have left here.

Nell: It’s going to be fine. Now go and relax by the fire.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: One of the things I admire most about you is your determination.

Nell: Thank you.

Me: Even though there was an awful lot of beach and the sea was very far out and the others were a long way in front of you, you didn’t give up.

Nell: Of course not.

Me: You took your time and you soldiered on until you reached the sea too.

Nell: And then I had a biscuit and a sit down.

Me: You didn’t let the distance daunt you.

Nell: No, I didn’t.

Me: It’s an example to us all. Just take things one step at a time and you will get there eventually.

Nell: Yes.

Me: Even if it feels an awfully long way away.

Nell: It didn’t just feel a long way away. It was a long way away.

Me: You know what I mean.

Nell: We have another house viewing this afternoon.

Me: Yes, I know.

Nell: We have to be out of the house, but I’m not walking all that way again. There’s a limit to my determination.

Me: We’ve booked the activity field. Dave and Harriet can run around and you can have a quiet sniffari.

Nell: Thank you. Do we know anything about the prospective buyer?

Me: Not really.

Nell: It’s not a bird, is it?

Me: You don’t think Sponge Finger is planning to buy our house, do you?

Nell: His name is Savoiardi.

Me: What if it becomes the headquarters for NOIR?

Nell: Here we go.

Me: Notorious rooks everywhere making evil plans. Should we cancel the viewing?

Nell: We don’t even know who’s coming.

Me: I do. The estate agents sent me an email.

Nell: Well, look and see.

Me: It’s a lady.

Nell: There you are. No reason to worry.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Did you just give me a signal?

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: We were chatting about dentists and you suddenly looked to the side in a slightly mad sort of way.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: I know you don’t like talking about teeth and I’m not that keen on dentists either, but why make that strange face?

Nell: Of course I was giving you a signal.

Me: I knew it. There’s a spy in me yet.

Nell: No, there isn’t. Trust me.

Me: Why were you giving me a signal?

Nell: There’s a strange bird looking through the window.

Me: Malcolm’s probably locked himself out again.

Nell: It is not a flamingo.

Me: It’ll be My Penguin filming one of his in depth documentaries. ‘Moving with the Martins’, or something like that.

Nell: It’s not a penguin, although the documentary is actually quite a good idea.

Me: I’m tired of guessing. Why don’t we just open the window and let it in?

Nell: Certainly not. I don’t want that bird in my house.

Me: That’s a bit harsh, Nell, and a little birdist if I may so. Shall I talk to it?

Nell: No. Don’t turn around. Keep talking and act nonchalantly if you can.

Me: I’ll try, if you tell me what’s going on.

Nell: Why are you flicking your hair back and posing with your hand on your hip? This isn’t a photoshoot.

Me: I was trying to look nonchalant.

Nell: Well, stop.

Me: Tell me about the bird then.

Nell: It’s a rook.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: Do you think it might be our arch enemy Sponge Finger, the evil head of NOIR, the Notorious Organisation of International Rooks?

Nell: I do and his name is Savoiardi, not Sponge Finger.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: The upside to this weather is we had the beach almost to ourselves.

Nell: The downside is the wind and rain.

Me: Harriet doesn’t care.

Nell: David and I don’t mind a little rain but the wind can play havoc with your ears.

Me: Why did you take your hat off?

Nell: I didn’t want it to get wet.

Me: Is there any more news on the potential buyer, apart from the fact the house is too small for her?

Nell: Yes. Henry and Horst reported back at Morning Thoughts.

Me: What did they say?

Nell: You’re not going to believe this.

Me: I might.

Nell: There might have been another reason why the house wasn’t right for her.

Me: Tell me.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann was supposed to be asleep in The Barn.

Me: What’s Herr Hoffmann got to do with the buyer?

Nell: Nobody could have predicted this.

Me: Predicted what?

Nell: I mean, did you know bears walked in their sleep?

Me: What happened?

Nell: The lady was walking around the kitchen when Herr Hoffmann appeared in his nightshirt and hat.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: She screamed.

Me: Understandably.

Nell: And the estate agent wasn’t too happy either.

Me: What did Herr Hoffmann do?

Nell: He made some scrambled eggs on toast.

Me: What?

Nell: The llamas said the eggs were delicious and enough for everyone if they’d been hungry.

Me: What have the llamas got to do with this?

Nell: You know you told them not to cartwheel past the window?

Me: Yes.

Nell: They didn’t listen.

Me: Typical.

Nell: It was fortunate in one way, because when they saw what was going on they escorted Herr Hoffmann back to his bed in The Barn.

Me: I don’t believe this.

Nell: Told you.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Nice hat.

Nell: It’s a Knitwear Wolf original.

Me: I thought it might be.

Nell: Rupert says red is my colour.

Me: It looks lovely and warm.

Nell: It is a little warm but needs must.

Me: Must they?

Nell: Someone is coming to view our house this morning. You can’t have forgotten.

Me: We’re not taking them around the house, Nell. The estate agents do that.

Nell: I know they do. Why do you think I’m wearing a hat?

Me: To impress the viewer?

Nell: No. We’re being driven outside into the storm and rain.

Me: I wouldn’t put it like that.

Nell: Instead of being there to welcome them with tea and scones we’re being forced to leave.

Me: We’re going to the beach for a walk. I thought you’d be happy about that.

Nell: Even Lionel has been banished from the kitchen and he’s in the middle of making a beef bourguignon.

Me: I don’t think a prospective buyer’s going to cope well with finding a lion cooking a beef stew in the kitchen.

Nell: It’s much more than just a beef stew. It’s French for a start and the wine elevates it to the next level.

Me: We have to take ourselves out of the house. It’s just the way it is.

Nell: The llamas were going to casually cartwheel past the window to see how it was going but apparently that’s not allowed either.

Me: Of course it isn’t.

Nell: Well, nobody is going to stop Henry and Horst.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: They’re in position and Sidney is ready with his webcam.

Me: Sidney the spider?

Nell: Who else? Insects come into their own at times like these.

Me: But I’ve been trying to decobweb the house.

Nell: Don’t you dare.

Me: Sorry.

Me: Goodness me, that was quite a storm last night, wasn’t it?

Nell: Yes, you could tell it was coming when we were down on the beach. The waves were quite high.

Me: Harriet only had a quick dip in the sea. Darling girl.

Nell: She’s very sensible when it comes to dangerous weather conditions.

Me: I hope Chris’s journey won’t be affected. I know there are delays and cancellations in some places.

Nell: If there are he will deal with it all. He’s a seasoned traveller.

Me: Yes, he is. I was talking to him about it yesterday. We did so much travelling when he was growing up.

Nell: And he spent time in Australia.

Me: At least Canada isn’t quite as far away as that.

Nell: He will be back.

Me: Yes, we just don’t know when at the moment.

Nell: No.

Me: Or even where we will be.

Nell: True.

Me: I’m afraid he has to say goodbye to this house today.

Nell: Yes, he does, but wherever we are it will be home.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: We need to see it as an adventure.

Me: Yes. Take no notice of me. You know I find goodbyes very hard.

Nell: We all do. Now, it’s still very early so make sure you both have a good breakfast before you leave for the station.

Me: I’m not hungry.

Nell: You can still have your morning porridge. It will set you up for the day.

Me: I suppose so.

Nell: I know so.

Me: I can do this, can’t I? Only it all feels rather overwhelming this morning.

Nell: Of course you can. You’re much stronger than you think.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And we are all here. Never forget that.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: No sorries. Not today.