Ridiculously Early

Nell: What are you doing up so early? Is something going on?

Me: It’s a medical sort of day. I have an appointment with the nurse first thing this morning and then Kev and I are off to the hospital later for a scan.

Nell: I see. Well, I hope you’re not expecting any deep conversations. I haven’t even had breakfast yet and Poppy is still resting.

Me: Dave seems tired too. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: The responsibility of being Mayor of Kingsbridge is weighing heavily on him at the moment.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: He’s afraid he might be forced to decide between movie stardom and mayoral duty.

Me: Can’t he do both? It’s an animation series.

Nell: Indiana Bones and The Raiders of the Lost Bark is an action movie of the highest order.

Me: If you say so.

Nell: Should David be cast then he will be performing his own stunts.

Me: That doesn’t sound like a very good idea.

Nell: Competition is fierce, however, so he may not get the part.

Me: What part?

Nell: Indy, of course. Word has spread across the animal kingdom.

Me: Did you say ‘kingdom’?

Nell: Yes. Animals of all shapes and sizes are keen to throw their collars into the ring.

Me: Don’t you mean hats?

Nell: Some might be wearing hats, I suppose.

Me: They’re not all coming here, are they?

Nell: Of course they are. We’re holding open auditions.

Me: But the family arrive on Monday.

Nell: Never fear. We’re going to erect a marquee in the field.

Me: A marquee?

Nell: Yes. It’s all under control. Babycakes Gillespie will be on hand with drinks and snacks for the queues.

Me: Queues?

Nell: Kindly stop repeating every word I say. It’s awfully tiresome.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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