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Election Day

Me: How’s Dave? He must be feeling a little anxious now the big day has finally arrived.

Nell: David’s absolutely fine. I don’t think he should be wearing his hat and chain this early in the day but he’s the Mayor of Kingsbridge.

Me: Except he isn’t. How’s the Campaign Breakfast going?

Nell: Far too many animals are taking advantage of it, if you ask me.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: I found several corgis eating bacon sandwiches in the kitchen and they’re not even booked until 12.

Me: Were they Welsh?

Nell: Of course they were. One of them asked for bara lawr whatever that is.

Me: It’s laverbread in Welsh. A sort of seaweed purée you can spread on hot buttered toast.

Nell: What’s wrong with marmalade?

Me: Never mind.

Nell: Anyway, as soon as breakfast is over David is going to take a short stroll with Sally in the field and then Rupert will drive him to the Town Hall to place his vote.

Me: We must vote too.

Nell: Everyone needs to vote. Didn’t you notice the Whippets Institute minibus in the car park?

Me: No.

Nell: They’re operating a shuttle service to the Town Hall until 4pm when the vote closes.

Me: Good for them.

Nell: And the more adventurous can ride there on a llama.

Me: I’m not sure I want to do that. It might fall over.

Nell: It would if you got on it. We are talking about the smaller animals here.

Me: Oh yes.

Nell: What’s George Schnauzer doing eating scrambled eggs?

Me: Who?

Nell: The Fake Barberino. Lionel and Mr Giggles collected him a while ago. He shouldn’t be here.

Me: I’ve had an awful thought.

Nell: What?

Me: I think Lionel might have taken The Real Barberino. Sorry.

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