Me: What do you think of my photo of Naughty Nigel?
Nell: Dorothy’s going to love it.
Me: Are those two still an item?
Nell: Dorothy talks of little else but Nigel.
Me: Gosh. That must be annoying.
Nell: It can be rather tedious. Fortunately she found something different to gossip about the last time we met.
Me: Do tell.
Nell: You know Stephen Seagull is launching his campaign to be Mayor of Kingsbridge?
Me: Yes. I’ve seen the posters everywhere in town,
Nell: Well, now he’s upped his game.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: He’s offering free cake to anyone who promises to vote for him.
Me: Free cake?
Nell: Yes. ‘Enjoy a slice at no extra price.’ I quote.
Me: The cheek of it. Where did the Beefies get all that cake?
Nell: Where indeed. I’ll give you three guesses.
Me: They’ve learnt how to bake?
Nell: Unlikely.
Me: They’ve hired a baker?
Nell: Possibly.
Me: They’ve stolen the cakes?
Nell: Definitely.
Me: From the Cake Competition?
Nell: Exactly. Harriet said the lemon drizzle they threw at David tasted exactly like Poppy’s.
Me: The villains.
Nell: Anyway, Poppy says two can play at that game so it’s all paws on deck.
Me: Are we going sailing?
Nell: No, we’re making scones. Cakes are all well and good but nothing beats one of Poppy’s scones.
Me: I agree. Especially with jam and cream.
Nell: Exactly. And the Beefies’ cakes will be dry and stale very soon whereas Poppy’s scones will be fresh out of the oven.
Me: Unless they hire a baker.
Nell: Excuse me?
Me: Like an award winning French bulldog.
Nell: That’s rather specific.
Me: It’s front page news in today’s Daily Growl.
Nell: ‘Frenchie says he’s voting for Stephen.’ This is absolutely outrageous.
Me: I know. Sorry.
