Me: Pinch, punch, first of the month.
Nell: Kindly stop attacking me.
Me: It’s the 1st June.
Nell: Yes, and time to remind everyone to support your writing.
Me: I wish we didn’t have to ask.
Nell: Nonsense. You write a story every day, even when times are really bad. The link is https://www.buymeacoffee.com/saramartin.
Me: Your support really makes a huge difference to our little economy.
Nell: You’ve made me look awfully rotund in that last photo.
Me: It’s just the angle. We were looking out at the activity field together and I wanted to capture it.
Nell: Now, if a Beefy comes to the door with a clipboard and a ‘Support Stephen’ sticker on its head don’t let it in.
Me: I wouldn’t let it in anyway.
Nell: And definitely don’t sign its petition.
Me: I wouldn’t dream of it.
Nell: The llamas did.
Nell: They thought they were signing up for free fish.
Me: The fools.
Nell: That’s what I said. If it had been scones, or bacon, I could have understood but llamas don’t even like fish.
Me: Did they get any?
Nell: Just a smelly old mackerel round the head and a nasty laugh.
Me: I hate it when the Beefies laugh.
Nell: And now they’re all crying in the field.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: David has gone over to give them a cuddle which is incredibly kind of him on so many levels.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: Not only have they signed a petition supporting his rival but they stink of fish which makes cuddling particularly uncomfortable.
Me: You’re like that when you’ve rolled in something.
Nell: Rolled in something?
Me: You think you smell wonderful but you really don’t.
Nell: How dare you criticise my Eau de Nature.