It’s the First of June

Me: Pinch, punch, first of the month.

Nell: Kindly stop attacking me.

Me: It’s the 1st June.

Nell: Yes, and time to remind everyone to support your writing.

Me: I wish we didn’t have to ask.

Nell: Nonsense. You write a story every day, even when times are really bad. The link is https://www.buymeacoffee.com/saramartin.

Me: Your support really makes a huge difference to our little economy.

Nell: You’ve made me look awfully rotund in that last photo.

Me: It’s just the angle. We were looking out at the activity field together and I wanted to capture it.

Nell: Now, if a Beefy comes to the door with a clipboard and a ‘Support Stephen’ sticker on its head don’t let it in.

Me: I wouldn’t let it in anyway.

Nell: And definitely don’t sign its petition.

Me: I wouldn’t dream of it.

Nell: The llamas did.

Me: What?

Nell: They thought they were signing up for free fish.

Me: The fools.

Nell: That’s what I said. If it had been scones, or bacon, I could have understood but llamas don’t even like fish.

Me: Did they get any?

Nell: Just a smelly old mackerel round the head and a nasty laugh.

Me: I hate it when the Beefies laugh.

Nell: And now they’re all crying in the field.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: David has gone over to give them a cuddle which is incredibly kind of him on so many levels.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: Not only have they signed a petition supporting his rival but they stink of fish which makes cuddling particularly uncomfortable.

Me: You’re like that when you’ve rolled in something.

Nell: Rolled in something?

Me: You think you smell wonderful but you really don’t.

Nell: How dare you criticise my Eau de Nature.

Me: Sorry.