Ridiculous Suggestions

Me: I thought you said Kev has to go into hiding?

Nell: He does.

Me: He’s in the kitchen buttering toast.

Nell: I know.

Me: And all you’re doing is watching him.

Nell: Not in an obvious way.

Me: In a really obvious way.

Nell: Nonsense.

Me: I thought there was an urgency about this?

Nell: Let Kev enjoy his breakfast first.

Me: You haven’t told me where he’s going yet?

Nell: We’re still undecided. There’ve been some, quite frankly, ridiculous suggestions.

Me: What are they?

Nell: The llamas said he could pitch a tent in the field.

Me: That’s a bit too close to home.

Nell: And then Poppy suggested Dartmoor.

Me: That’s a good idea. Anyone can camp up there.

Nell: Not anymore and it’s far too cold. Kev’s 63. He’s not doing his Duke of Edinburgh award.

Me: What else?

Nell: David thinks the Burgh Hotel is the perfect place and Lionel has offered the use of his suite.

Me: Lionel has a suite at the Burgh Hotel? I thought he’d fallen on hard times.

Nell: He says he has contacts there.

Me: Why doesn’t he go then?

Nell: This is about Kev. Anyway, the Burgh Hotel is too predictable.

Me: What about the Cottage Hotel? Sarah and William are always pleased to see us.

Nell: The Cottage Hotel is closed in January.

Me: They might open for Kev. Are you reading the newspaper?

Nell: Did you know today is the Chinese New Year?

Me: Stop changing the subject.

Nell: It’s the end of the Year of the Tiger.

Me: Is it?

Nell: And the start of the Year of the Rabbit.

Me: If I find a giant stuffed rabbit in our living room I’m going to completely lose it.

Nell: Don’t be so dramatic.

Me: Sorry.

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