Me: It’s finally Dogmanay. The last day of the year and the day of the Blubbery Wedding.
Nell: Thank goodness. I’ve had quite enough of this year, thank you.
Me: Would you mind if I mentioned the hats?
Nell: I’d rather you didn’t.
Me: They’re a bit eclectic.
Nell: You mean odd.
Me: I didn’t want to say that but they don’t seem to go together. Princess is in a tiara which is fair enough.
Nell: She borrowed it from Gladys.
Me: Dave and Kev are wearing top hats which is also standard for a wedding.
Nell: Not on the beach in the rain.
Me: Possibly not. You and Harriet seem a little unhappy with your hats, if I may say so.
Nell: They’re ghastly.
Me: I wouldn’t go that far.
Nell: Of course you wouldn’t. You’re wearing a beautiful fluffy all encasing hat.
Me: Yes, I’m rather relieved to be honest. And then there’s Poppy.
Nell: What about her?
Me: She’s wearing a pirate hat, Nell.
Nell: She refuses to wear anything else.
Me: It’s not very weddingy.
Nell: It goes with her sword.
Me: Does she really need a sword?
Nell: Someone has to cut the cake.
Me: Surely the bride and groom will do that.
Nell: They’ll be in the sea. They want the cake cut and thrown to the guests.
Me: Now that is unusual.
Nell: Not when it’s a fish cake made with whole mackerel.
Me: I might skip the cake. Who’s going on Lionel’s ship?
Nell: The Whippets Institute Big Band.
Me: What about the Welsh Corgi Choir?
Nell: They’ll be singing from a dinghy.
Me: I hope it can hold them all. They’re looking a little portlier than usual.
Nell: They’ve got life vests sewn into their dresses. Remember?
Me: Oh yes. Sorry.
