A Case of Mistaken Identity

Me: You three look rather serious.

Nell: I’m afraid there’s been a complaint.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Henry and Horst brought it to our attention as representatives from the insect community.

Me: Has an insect been harmed?

Nell: Ringo was nearly drowned and thrown in a hedge.

Me: That’s awful.

Nell: He was minding his own business strolling along the kitchen counter when someone started screaming at him.

Me: That’s not very nice.

Nell: He managed to hide in the sink until Kev turned the tap on and threw him in the hedge.

Me: Kev did?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Kev would never harm any living thing.

Nell: I agree. We’re all shocked.

Me: I think this might be my fault. You know I lived in Africa during the 1990’s?

Nell: I do.

Me: Well, one of the things we had to be most careful about was scorpions.

Nell: Nasty creatures.

Me: I always warned the children not to turn over stones and we had a scorpion in the house one time.

Nell: What has all this got to do with Ringo?

Me: I thought he was a scorpion.

Nell: Ringo is a beetle. Everyone knows that.

Me: But he looks like a scorpion and he waves his tail around like one.

Nell: Good grief. How did Kev get involved?

Me: I rang him in the studio saying I’d seen a frightening creature and he came to my rescue.

Nell: You didn’t need rescuing.

Me: I thought I did. Kev looked everywhere and while he was washing his hands he saw Ringo in the sink.

Nell: I see.

Me: So he fished him out and put him in the hedge.

Nell: This is all down to your vivid imagination.

Me: I know.

Nell: We don’t have scorpions in Devon.

Me: Sorry.

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