Harriet is On Duty

Me: Can I ask you something?

Nell: Finish your muesli first, please.

Me: I’m not really in a muesli mood.

Nell: It’s good for you.

Me: Why can’t I have pancakes like everyone else?

Nell: Let’s see.

Me: What does that mean?

Nell: I thought you had a question for me.

Me: I did. Am I being followed?

Nell: Have you been watching ‘Spooks’ again?

Me: Maybe ‘followed’ isn’t the right word. ‘Monitored’ might be more accurate.

Nell: Where’s this going?

Me: Harriet has started lurking on the stairs watching me through the bannisters.

Nell: Harriet doesn’t lurk. She isn’t a lurking sort of animal.

Me: She’s doing a good impression of one.

Nell: Harriet is simply sitting on the stairs minding her own business.

Me: She’s spying on me. I know she is.

Nell: How do you know it’s you she’s watching? It could be anyone.

Me: Well, it’s not the Veiled Corgi because I saw her walking through the fields with Knitwear Wolf just now.

Nell: With Rupert?

Me: Yes, they were deep in conversation.

Nell: Really?

Me: And at one point he lifted her over a stile.

Nell: Lifted her?

Me: Corgis only have little legs.

Nell: It sounds like you’re the one doing the spying.

Me: Anyway, just tell me if I’m being watched or not.

Nell: Harriet has been told to keep a close eye on you.

Me: Why?

Nell: You’re going through a difficult time. We don’t want your behaviour to become too erratic.

Me: Erratic?

Nell: A piece of chocolate cake was eaten late yesterday evening with a mug of tea.

Me: It was comforting.

Nell: Cake is for afternoons.

Me: And muesli is for mornings?

Nell: Correct. We’re just looking out for you. You’re rather precious to us all.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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