Me: You know that Staring Thing you all do?
Nell: What Staring Thing?
Me: The one where you try to hypnotise me into doing something. Usually into giving you a piece of toast, I might add.
Nell: I don’t know what you are talking about.
Me: You do. You and Harriet are like statues. You are so still. It’s unnerving.
Nell: We are simply being Attentive. It’s The Labrador Way.
Me: Well, it isn’t Dave’s Way.
Nell: I know. David isn’t very good at it at all.
Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He does try but after a while he gets bored.
Nell: That is still no reason to stick your tongue out and start playing Cheeky Animals.
Me: It made me laugh.
Nell: It ruined the whole effect.
Me: There you and Harriet were laser focussed and watching my every move and Dave just gave up and looked somewhere else.
Nell: I know I told him if he is going to place himself in Prime Position then he must concentrate.
Me: He’s easily distracted, Nell.
Nell: You don’t help.
Me: What have I done now?
Nell: Pretending to ignore us.
Me: Begging shouldn’t be encouraged.
Nell: Begging? How dare you. Labradors don’t beg.
Me: I beg to differ. See what I did there?
Nell: I have no time to share toast with you anyway. The first of today’s Platinum Jubilee Celebrations begins this afternoon and I have flags to fly.
Me: Are you sure you wouldn’t like a small piece?
Nell: If you insist, but then I must check on preparations for this afternoon’s cream tea. Poppy isn’t happy with her scones.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: I’m sure it’s just Jubilee nerves.
Me: It doesn’t sound like Poppy.
Nell: Even the fearless can falter.
Me: You’re right. Sorry.
