Maturing Marvellously

Me: My Big Brave Beautiful Boy is maturing marvellously. Look at that gorgeous face.

Nell: David is not a cheese.

Me: No, but there’s a new sort of maturity about him recently. Haven’t you noticed?

Nell: If you call trying to cartwheel with the llamas mature then you might be right.

Me: I’m not sure cartwheeling is a good idea.

Nell: It isn’t. His legs are far too short and sturdy for cartwheels. He just fell over.

Me: But that’s what llamas do.

Nell: David is a pedigree Labrador. He has standards to maintain.

Me: True.

Nell: He should stick to tap dancing.

Me: You might be right.

Nell: And maybe a little Ballroom when the Strictly season starts.

Me: No Latin?

Nell: We’ll see how it goes. It depends on the dance.

Me: Yes. I’m not sure those large puffy sleeves are right for him.

Nell: Or anyone. Now, you have a writing workshop this afternoon.

Me: Yes, I know I do.

Nell: I thought I might join you.

Me: You can’t.

Nell: I most certainly can. I have before.

Me: You’re going to see Chloe with Kev. It’s your massage and hydrotherapy session.

Nell: Why didn’t somebody tell me?

Me: I’m telling you now.

Nell: I need to put it in my diary. I could have easily been double booked.

Me: It’s on the whiteboard.

Nell: I don’t bother with that. It’s full of nonsense like shopping lists. Where’s my handbag?

Me: I think Gladys is using it.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: She needed some quiet time away from the hustle and bustle.

Nell: Why is David carrying it then?

Me: He’s taking her over to the Big House.

Nell: In my handbag?

Me: Yes, otherwise the llamas will see her.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Sorry.

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