Me: My Big Brave Beautiful Boy is maturing marvellously. Look at that gorgeous face.
Nell: David is not a cheese.
Me: No, but there’s a new sort of maturity about him recently. Haven’t you noticed?
Nell: If you call trying to cartwheel with the llamas mature then you might be right.
Me: I’m not sure cartwheeling is a good idea.
Nell: It isn’t. His legs are far too short and sturdy for cartwheels. He just fell over.
Me: But that’s what llamas do.
Nell: David is a pedigree Labrador. He has standards to maintain.
Me: True.
Nell: He should stick to tap dancing.
Me: You might be right.
Nell: And maybe a little Ballroom when the Strictly season starts.
Me: No Latin?
Nell: We’ll see how it goes. It depends on the dance.
Me: Yes. I’m not sure those large puffy sleeves are right for him.
Nell: Or anyone. Now, you have a writing workshop this afternoon.
Me: Yes, I know I do.
Nell: I thought I might join you.
Me: You can’t.
Nell: I most certainly can. I have before.
Me: You’re going to see Chloe with Kev. It’s your massage and hydrotherapy session.
Nell: Why didn’t somebody tell me?
Me: I’m telling you now.
Nell: I need to put it in my diary. I could have easily been double booked.
Me: It’s on the whiteboard.
Nell: I don’t bother with that. It’s full of nonsense like shopping lists. Where’s my handbag?
Me: I think Gladys is using it.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: She needed some quiet time away from the hustle and bustle.
Nell: Why is David carrying it then?
Me: He’s taking her over to the Big House.
Nell: In my handbag?
Me: Yes, otherwise the llamas will see her.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: Sorry.
