Me: The way I see it, Nell, is you are caught between a wolf and a lion.
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: On the one hand there is handsome, reliable Rupert Knitwear Wolf and on the other, handsome, unreliable, bad boy Lionel King.
Nell: I’m not caught anywhere, thank you very much. I am my own Labrador.
Me: Even though you know the sensible choice is the safe one, you’re still drawn to the excitement of the risky one.
Nell: Here we go.
Me: There you sit. Outwardly calm, but inside wrestling with your feelings and the decision you have to make.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: It’s exhausting.
Nell: You’re telling me. I’m exhausted just listening to you.
Me: Maybe we should put it to the vote?
Nell; I beg your pardon?
Me: Rupert, or Lionel?
Nell: Unbelievable.
Me: Cardigan, or cowboy hat?
Nell: Stop.
Me: The cardigans are going to win. I’m sure of it.
Nell: Nobody is going to win because there’s not going to be a vote.
Me: Let’s wait and see.
Nell: If there are any choices to be made then I will make them. Alone.
Me: You wouldn’t like it if I did that.
Nell: Excuse me?
Me: You always want me to discuss my choices with you.
Nell: That’s because you are a hopeless romantic with far too much imagination for your own good and a very loose grip on reality.
Me: Rubbish.
Nell: If you didn’t have my sensible advice to rely on I dread to think what you would do next.
Me: We could offer voters the option of wearing a cardigan, or a cowboy hat.
Nell: And those on the fence would wear both, I suppose?
Me: Are we talking birds here, or the undecided?
Nell: Enough.
Me: Sorry.
