Me: Is Harriet still refusing breakfast?
Nell: Yes, I’m afraid yesterday’s dance off was a dreadful shock.
Me: How did Harriet and Beauregard end up there? They danced so well.
Nell: Sometimes the public simply forget to vote. They think the couples are safe.
Me: And then Harriet had to dance against Jim the Farm Dog, her love.
Nell: Yes, most unfortunate.
Me: Both couples raised their game in the dance off.
Nell: They did.
Me: When Anton and Princess chose Harriet and Beauregard I thought they were safe, but then Lionel King chose Jim and Juanita.
Nell: No surprise to me. He hates Beauregard.
Me: And so you, as the head judge, had the casting vote and chose Harriet and Beauregard.
Nell: Of course I did. They were the better dancers.
Me: Lionel King shouldn’t have shouted ‘Typical Labs. Favouring their own.’
Nell: It was a scandalous lie.
Me: And the Daily Growl shouldn’t have published that interview with him either.
Nell: What interview?
Me: Never mind. You don’t want to read it.
Nell: Show me.
Me: If you insist, but you won’t like it.
Nell: That’s a photo of me in my tiara. It says: ‘Judge Lionel King accuses Head Judge Nell Martin of cheating after she put through her niece Harriet and international tiger burglar Beauregard in the Strictly dance off.’
Me: It’s a bit rich calling Beauregard a tiger burglar when he’s been retired for years.
Nell: That’s not the point. I’m not going to sit here and let that lion get away with this. Get the Daily Growl on my iBone.
Me: Wouldn’t it be better to ignore him?
Nell: My reputation is at stake here. And that of all Labradors. I will not allow such slander to go unchallenged.
Me: Of course not. Sorry.