A strange visitor

Nell: You are not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: There’s a small hairy animal eating muesli in the kitchen with Malcolm.

Me: I didn’t know flamingos ate muesli.

Nell: It isn’t a flamingo.

Me: I meant Malcolm.

Nell: It’s small and scruffy with a bare tail.

Me: It’s not a rat, is it?

Nell: No. But it hisses if you try and talk to it, then plays dead.

Me: I shan’t be able to have much of a conversation with it if it keeps doing that.

Nell: Malcolm says it’s from the United States.

Me: It’s come an awfully long way.

Nell: It’s on a gap year. Wants to travel around Europe before continuing with its studies.

Me: It hasn’t picked a very good time.

Nell: That’s what I said.

Me: How did it get here?

Nell: Knitwear Wolf found it by the roadside. It was Trying to be Brave.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: And when an animal is Trying to be Brave one can’t possibly ignore it.

Me: No, I suppose not.

Nell: So he brought it back here.

Me: That was kind of him.

Nell: Yes. It’s very disappointed in the weather.

Me: It is dreadful.

Nell: I know. One doesn’t expect to be wearing galoshes in May.

Me: I don’t expect to be wearing them at all.

Nell: Anyway, we have to decide what to do with it.

Me: Do you think it might like to talk to Babycakes Gillespie? He’s from the United States too.

Nell: No. Pugs are too rumbustious. This is a job for someone with tact and diplomacy.

Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy would be just the animal.

Nell: No. Not David. Harriet is perfect for the job. Gentle but practically minded.

Me: Yes, of course. Sorry.

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