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Good Manners

Me: Why are you waiting outside the bedroom door?

Nell: It is polite to wait until invited.

Me: You never wait normally, you just barge in.

Nell: I never barge. I think you will find it is David who barges.

Me: Well, you certainly don’t wait to be asked.

Nell: Anyway, as you might have noticed, I am still waiting.

Me: Yes. Come in, please. Do you need me to invite you on to the bed?

Nell: That would be most kind.

Me: Is there any reason for this excess of good manners?

Nell: We were discussing the llamas at Morning Thoughts and it occurred to me that we could all do with brushing up on our etiquette. ‘Manners maketh the mammal’ when all is said and done.

Me: What have the llamas done now?

Nell: Cartwheeling at the drop of a cat.

Me: Oh dear. Was it startled?

Nell: Very. They didn’t even know the animal. They think it was a friend of The Neighbour’s Cat but after it was dropped, it left before they could ask.

Me: They do love a cartwheel.

Nell: They bumped into Babycakes Gillespie’s bagel cart this morning. Bagels everywhere and it’s raining.

Me: Nobody likes a soggy bagel.

Nell: Moving on, I’ve decided to hold Animal Behaviour classes.

Me: Good idea.

Nell: Attendance is compulsory.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: Animals will be grouped into size.

Me: I don’t think you should expect Knitwear Wolf to attend. He’s ever so well mannered, and Malcolm is the politest flamingo I know.

Nell: Rupert will be helping with the larger animals and Malcolm and Susan are dealing with birds. Henry and Horst are responsible for insects.

Me: Am I one of the larger animals?

Nell: Don’t be silly. You will be in Kev’s class.

Me: Right. Sorry.

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