Stay away from our family

Me: Why are you and Poppy barking at the sky? Are you celebrating International Women’s Day?

Nell: We are certainly being strong women. We’re sending out a warning to Fifi la Beefy and Co. to leave our family alone.

Me: Is that the name of the company?

Nell: I’m talking about those wretched Beefies. You do realise an attack was made on Alejandro last night.

Me: What?

Nell: He was on his way to The Barn when he felt a little woozy and had to lie down.

Me: I told him that second sherry was a mistake.

Nell: Nonsense. Alejandro is an Ecuadorian alpaca. Sherry is nothing to him. He must have been drugged.

Me: Oh, my goodness.

Nell: Anyway, the next thing he knew he was being tethered and blindfolded.

Me: Crikey.

Nell: He managed to shout ‘Socorro!’

Me: Why?

Nell: It means help in Spanish. Do keep up.

Me: Oh, I see.

Nell: Fortunately Gladys and Manuel were playing Twister with the larger animals in The Barn and heard him.

Me: I bet Manuel is awfully good at Twister. All those legs.

Nell: That’s not the point. They came rushing out and shouted for Poppy who freed him with her sword.

Me: Do we know who it was?

Nell: Poppy thinks it was the horrible hooligans who captured her.

Me: She does?

Nell: Yes. They managed to shear the fleece off one side of him before they were chased away, so we can be fairly sure it’s the same gang.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: We are on high alert. Sally has requested that all long haired animals should stay inside for the time being.

Me: I’ve got long hair at the moment, Nell. Can I still go in the garden?

Nell: You are not an animal.

Me: No. Sorry.

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