Me: Why are you looking at me like that?
Nell: When were you going to tell me?
Me: Tell you what?
Nell: That I was going to be put in that box full of water again and made to walk for hours.
Me: It wasn’t hours, Nell. It was your hydrotherapy and Chloe gave you a lovely massage.
Nell: It doesn’t feel that lovely this morning.
Me: You’re just a bit achy. Chloe says you have to lose weight.
Nell: I know. I was there when she told Kev.
Me: Poppy knows all about it, so there aren’t going to be any scones, or bacon sandwiches for a while, just lots of vegetables and fresh fruit.
Nell: Fresh fruit? I suppose I could manage a little apple crumble with custard, or cream.
Me: No crumble, Nell, and definitely no cream.
Nell: If you think I am going to stand by and nibble on a carrot while everyone else wallows in cake and trifle, then you are sadly mistaken?
Me: Trifle? We haven’t had trifle in ages.
Me: We’re all going to try and eat healthily.
Nell: David is never going to survive without bacon.
Me: Let’s see, shall we? How about joining in this morning’s Glide with Gladys?
Nell: Do I look like I want to be gliding anywhere?
Me: You will be pleased when you’ve done it. The llamas are in fine form today. They have colourful umbrellas and Wellington boots.
Nell: So, instead of settling down in front of the fire to watch Saturday Kitchen with a cup of Earl Grey and a shortbread biscuit, you think I’m going to put on lycra and start leaping around in the rain with umbrella wielding llamas?
Nell: It is never going to happen.
Me: No. Sorry.