A Guilty Face

Nell: That’s Harriet’s guilty look. What did she do?

Me: She made a nest with my freshly changed bed. There were pillows everywhere.

Nell: You can’t blame her for that. Pillows need fluffing. Everyone knows that.

Me: That wasn’t fluffing, Nell. That was throwing around recklessly.

Nell: Potato, Potahto.

Me: Anyway, she’s forgiven. Nobody can resist that darling little face.

Nell: I know. Harriet’s guilty face is famous in dog circles. Textbook performance.

Me: It’s not a performance, Nell. Harriet is genuinely sorry.

Nell: Of course she is. Now, did you hear the Beefies this morning?

Me: Yes. They were shouting ‘Snow! Snow!’ It’s not cold enough.

Nell: They were talking about Poppy.

Me: Poppy?

Nell: Yes. The Evil Mrs Poppy Snow. Since the pantomime Poppy has become a huge celebrity. The wretched creatures are flocking here to catch a glimpse of her.

Me: What does Poppy think about it?

Nell: She loves it. Every now and then she pops out of the kitchen into the garden, waves her sword and they all cheer.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: And they’re not throwing mackerel.

Me: Really?

Nell: No. It’s sea bass.

Me: I love sea bass.

Nell: So does Poppy. We’ve got more sea bass flying around than the local fishmonger.

Me: Sea bass for dinner then?

Nell: Actually it’s spaghetti bolognese.

Me: Why?

Nell: Olive the Other Reindeer has got friends over again and everyone knows how much reindeer enjoy spaghetti.

Me: I thought they liked carrots.

Nell: A good bowl of pasta will help build up their strength before the Christmas rush.

Me: Maybe we should put out a bowl of pasta instead of a carrot on Christmas Eve?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Pasta’s not portable. How is Santa going to take that back to the sleigh?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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