Me: Have you seen the carpet in Kev’s studio?
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: Poppy and Dave are lying flat out in the middle of bits of straw and cardboard.
Nell: Harriet and I weren’t involved.
Me: I can see Harriet’s paw.
Nell: Probably an optical illusion.
Me: I know you were there, too.
Nell: Have you any evidence confirming my presence at the scene of the crime?
Me: What crime?
Nell: I don’t know. I wasn’t there.
Me: When you start talking like a High Court judge then I know you’re up to something.
Nell: There may have been a brief game of Open the Box and some necessary Chasing but this is mere conjecture on my part.
Me: What box?
Nell: How should I know?
Me: Poppy and Dave seem exhausted.
Nell: You try chasing antelopes before breakfast.
Me: See, I knew something had been going on.
Nell: If you must know, several bandaged Beefies were spotted riding antelopes in the top field near Kev’s studio.
Me: By whom?
Nell: Walter Pigeon. But that’s not the point. They were pretending to be roosters which was particularly annoying.
Me: Were they cockadoodledoing?
Nell: No. But they were wearing red combs and shouting.
Me: Same thing.
Nell: Anyway, they woke the chickens and disturbed the larger animals from their Wednesday lie-in.
Me: Who has a Wednesday lie-in?
Nell: The larger animals. I just told you. Tuesday is their busiest day. Honestly, do keep up.
Me: I didn’t know.
Nell: Fortunately some of us were already taking part in our Morning Exercises so were able to chase the Beefies away.
Me: I didn’t know Morning Exercises involved tearing up boxes.
Nell: That’s because you never do any.
Me: It’s my writing time.
Nell: Just saying.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
