Wednesday lie-in

Me: Have you seen the carpet in Kev’s studio?

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: Poppy and Dave are lying flat out in the middle of bits of straw and cardboard.

Nell: Harriet and I weren’t involved.

Me: I can see Harriet’s paw.

Nell: Probably an optical illusion.

Me: I know you were there, too.

Nell: Have you any evidence confirming my presence at the scene of the crime?

Me: What crime?

Nell: I don’t know. I wasn’t there.

Me: When you start talking like a High Court judge then I know you’re up to something.

Nell: There may have been a brief game of Open the Box and some necessary Chasing but this is mere conjecture on my part.

Me: What box?

Nell: How should I know?

Me: Poppy and Dave seem exhausted.

Nell: You try chasing antelopes before breakfast.

Me: See, I knew something had been going on.

Nell: If you must know, several bandaged Beefies were spotted riding antelopes in the top field near Kev’s studio.

Me: By whom?

Nell: Walter Pigeon. But that’s not the point. They were pretending to be roosters which was particularly annoying.

Me: Were they cockadoodledoing?

Nell: No. But they were wearing red combs and shouting.

Me: Same thing.

Nell: Anyway, they woke the chickens and disturbed the larger animals from their Wednesday lie-in.

Me: Who has a Wednesday lie-in?

Nell: The larger animals. I just told you. Tuesday is their busiest day. Honestly, do keep up.

Me: I didn’t know.

Nell: Fortunately some of us were already taking part in our Morning Exercises so were able to chase the Beefies away.

Me: I didn’t know Morning Exercises involved tearing up boxes.

Nell: That’s because you never do any.

Me: It’s my writing time.

Nell: Just saying.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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