Me: You’re in better spirits today. Is it because Dave woke you with a kiss?
Nell: Certainly not. David needs to stop fussing.
Me: We’ve all been so worried about you, Nell.
Nell: I’m absolutely fine.
Me: When Chloe found that lump during your physiotherapy I was distraught.
Nell: You weren’t the one stabbed with a needle.
Me: And then the relief that it was just a fatty lump.
Nell: Would you mind not discussing my medical history, please? I am trying to enjoy my croissant in peace.
Me: That’s a very fancy breakfast, Nell.
Nell: Yes. After I mentioned the French lunches I used to enjoy with Joan Collie and The Cat Poppy was inspired to rustle up a French breakfast.
Me: How lovely.
Nell: Malcolm made the croissants with a little help from Benjie.
Me: I’m glad he’s taken Benny under his wing.
Nell: Benjamin isn’t under anybody’s wing. He is his own bird now. And don’t call him Benjie.
Me: He likes it.
Nell: David asked for French toast but Poppy said French toast isn’t actually French and he should have a croissant and like it.
Me: What about French fries?
Nell: Not French either. David tried asking for those, but Poppy just glared at him.
Me: They make excellent fries in France.
Nell: That is not the point. You can’t have chips for breakfast, however thin they are.
Me: My poor Big Brave Beautiful Boy forced to eat fresh baked croissants and home made jam.
Nell: If only.
Nell: You know how the French drink out of bowls?
Nell: Well, David ate a whole tureen of Bouillebaisse by mistake.
Me: That sounds French.
Nell: It’s seafood soup and was meant for the dolphins’ lunch. Poppy is not pleased.
Me: Oh dear. Sorry.