Me: Harriet’s exhausted. It’s all that running yesterday.
Nell: Yes. Let her sleep, please. Poppy has put her bacon in the oven to keep warm. She can have her sandwich later.
Me: Unless somebody eats it by mistake.
Nell: David will carry it up to her when she wakes with a nice cup of tea.
Me: Are you sure that’s wise? The temptation might be too much for my Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: David assures me that he has turned over a new biscuit on the Eating by Mistake front. He is three now and can deal with Temptation.
Me: Don’t you mean turned over a new leaf?
Nell: Certainly not. Why would David be turning over leaves? He’s not a woodlouse. Leave that to Henry and Horst.
Me: There seems to be a lot of excitement in the air this morning.
Nell: I’m afraid it’s a case of Birds Behaving Badly.
Me: Oh dear. I hope Malcolm wasn’t involved.
Me: Wasn’t he taking Our Penguin and Princess to do some filming with Count Bingo Flamingo and the boys?
Nell: Are you referring to the Flamingo Foreign Legion?
Nell: I wondered for a moment. You’re making them sound like a boy band.
Me: My mistake.
Nell: Anyway, according to the cows there was an awful rumpus at the Hard Rook Cafe last night.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: A group of young blackbirds got into a disagreement with a family of visiting crows. Feathers flew.
Me: I hope nobody was hurt.
Nell: Walter will know the details.
Me: Walter Pigeon?
Nell: Yes. He works nights at the Hard Rook Cafe.
Me: As a barbird?
Nell: Certainly not.
Me: It was just a joke.
Nell: Walter is on the door. He’s a bouncer.
Me: Of course. Sorry.