Nell: I need to have a serious word with you.
Me: What have I done now?
Nell: Nothing. Yet.
Me: That’s a relief.
Nell: Now, you are going to find this very hard to believe.
Me: If it’s about those shells walking about, I was surprised, too.
Nell: Those are armoured woodlice. It’s something much bigger.
Me: Most things are.
Nell: You mustn’t tell anyone.
Me: It’s a bit late, Nell. Everybody’s listening.
Nell: They know how to keep a secret. Now, something happened at Sunday Songs.
Me: Princess didn’t join in again, did she? I know some of the Welsh corgi choir were annoyed. Particularly Myfanwy.
Nell: It wasn’t Princess, but it happened during Myfanwy’s solo.
Me: Did Gladys perform a contemporary dance? I saw she had her scarves with her.
Nell: No. It was Sidney.
Me: Sidney the spider?
Nell: Yes, he was in The Barn sharing a bacon sandwich with David.
Me: I thought Dave was meant to be interrogating him.
Nell: He was. David says Sidney isn’t a bad spider at heart. He was just not himself. Anyway, do you want to know what happened, or not?
Me: Yes, please.
Nell: Well, when Myfanwy started singing, Sidney dropped his sandwich, stared into space and said ‘Beautiful music.’
Me: That was nice of him. Myfanwy is an excellent singer.
Nell: But then he said ‘Byddwch yn gorynnod drwg‘.
Me: That doesn’t sound Swedish.
Nell; No, it’s Welsh.
Me: I didn’t know Sidney spoke Welsh.
Nell: He doesn’t.
Me: What does it mean?
Nell: ‘Be a bad spider.’
Me: That’s not a nice thing to say.
Nell: No, it isn’t. I need to tell Joyce.
Nell: Everything is not as it seems.
Me: Someone said that before.
Nell: But do you remember who?
Me: No. Sorry.