Everything is not as it seems

Nell: I need to have a serious word with you.

Me: What have I done now?

Nell: Nothing. Yet.

Me: That’s a relief.

Nell: Now, you are going to find this very hard to believe.

Me: If it’s about those shells walking about, I was surprised, too.

Nell: Those are armoured woodlice. It’s something much bigger.

Me: Most things are.

Nell: You mustn’t tell anyone.

Me: It’s a bit late, Nell. Everybody’s listening.

Nell: They know how to keep a secret. Now, something happened at Sunday Songs.

Me: Princess didn’t join in again, did she? I know some of the Welsh corgi choir were annoyed. Particularly Myfanwy.

Nell: It wasn’t Princess, but it happened during Myfanwy’s solo.

Me: Did Gladys perform a contemporary dance? I saw she had her scarves with her.

Nell: No. It was Sidney.

Me: Sidney the spider?

Nell: Yes, he was in The Barn sharing a bacon sandwich with David.

Me: I thought Dave was meant to be interrogating him.

Nell: He was. David says Sidney isn’t a bad spider at heart. He was just not himself. Anyway, do you want to know what happened, or not?

Me: Yes, please.

Nell: Well, when Myfanwy started singing, Sidney dropped his sandwich, stared into space and said ‘Beautiful music.’

Me: That was nice of him. Myfanwy is an excellent singer.

Nell: But then he said ‘Byddwch yn gorynnod drwg‘.

Me: That doesn’t sound Swedish.

Nell; No, it’s Welsh.

Me: I didn’t know Sidney spoke Welsh.

Nell: He doesn’t.

Me: What does it mean?

Nell: ‘Be a bad spider.’

Me: That’s not a nice thing to say.

Nell: No, it isn’t. I need to tell Joyce.

Me: Joyce?

Nell: Everything is not as it seems.

Me: Someone said that before.

Nell: But do you remember who?

Me: No. Sorry.

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