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Burglars never knock

Nell: Why is David wearing a false beard?

Me: He’s playing burglars with Kev and it’s actually the stuffing out of the dog bed.

Nell: Yes. I realise he hasn’t just grown one overnight. But why burglars?

Me: Well, you know you all sleep downstairs?

Nell: Yes. Apart from Poppy, of course, who has Sharing the Bed privileges.

Me: She is only small, Nell, and she works so hard.

Nell: When you’re away we all have Sharing the Bed privileges. I usually choose to sleep downstairs but at least I know I have options.

Me: Anyway, you three labs sleep in the living room and Mutley has his soft bed in the kitchen.

Nell: Yes, although David has taken to sharing the soft bed recently to keep Mutley warm.

Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. So caring.

Nell: What does this have to do with burglars?

Me: When Kev went to bed last night he forgot to shut the stair gate.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: So, at 3:30am I was woken by the sound of it opening and then someone knocked sharply on the bedroom door.

Nell: Knocked?

Me: Yes. I was terrified. I thought it was a burglar.

Nell: A burglar? Why on earth would a burglar knock on the door? Do you think they normally ring on the bell and ask to come in?

Me: Probably not.

Nell: And we are five dogs. Wouldn’t we have noticed something and alerted you?

Me: Anyway, I hid under the covers and that was when I felt a wet cold nose nudging me.

Nell: I’m guessing it was David.

Me: Yes. Dave was the burglar. It was his tail wagging against the door that sounded like a knock.

Nell: You have far too much imagination.

Me: I know. Sorry.

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