Nell: Could you ask those corgis to sing quietly please?
Me: Are you feeling a little delicate after yesterday’s celebrations?
Nell: Poppy and I have been learning about trains with Jonathan and Faye since first thing this morning.
Me: Poppy seems really interested. Maybe she is thinking of driving a train.
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. Poppy is a helicopter pilot.
Me: I know, but she likes a challenge.
Nell: Well, I know far more about trains now than I ever wanted to.
Me: Jonathan loves them.
Nell: Do you think you could bring me a cup of Earl Grey and a thin slice of toast, lightly buttered?
Me: Marmalade?
Nell: Just a small amount and crusts off, please. I can’t deal with crusts today.
Me: What about penguins?
Nell: Excuse me?
Me: Can you deal with our penguin?
Nell: I wish you would stop calling it our penguin. It’s an independent creature. Why would I have to deal with it?
Me: It’s been posting videos on Instagram and it wants you to see your Birthday one before it disappears.
Nell: Why would it disappear?
Me: They only stay on for 24 hours.
Nell: That’s ridiculous. Why go to all that trouble?
Me: It’s the way things are done nowadays. Here today. Gone tomorrow. You have to go with the times.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: You know we’ve been asked to grow our Instagram following?
Nell: Yes.
Me: The penguin is helping us do that by filming. Dave was just filmed eating Joyce’s bacon sandwich by mistake.
Nell: How very naughty.
Me: Joyce left it on the table so he thought it was going spare.
Nell: The penguin should have stopped him.
Me: Nothing comes between a penguin and its art.
Nell: I can’t believe you just said that.
Me: Sorry.
