Nell: I’m afraid we have an issue in the living room.

Me: What’s happened?

Nell: David is scared of touching Faye’s baby chair.

Me: He just needs to push past it. He’s used to barging.

Nell: Not when it comes to Baby Faye. She is VIP.

Me: Don’t you mean a VIP?

Nell: No. We have grades of P and both Faye and Jonathan are VIP.

Me: Am I?

Nell: No. You’re OP.

Me: I’m not an old person, Nell. That’s a bit harsh.

Nell: What are you talking about? These are grades of Protection. You are an Occasional Protection because, in the main, you can be trusted to look after yourself.

Me: Oh, I see.

Nell: But Faye and Jonathan are still young and vulnerable so they need Very Intensive Protection.

Me: Is that why you and Dave were crowding Jonathan when we were getting ready to go out yesterday?

Nell: It wasn’t crowding. Part of Intensive Protection means at least two animals are on guard.

Me: But not Monty and Olive I hope, because the children will get squished between a moose and a reindeer.

Nell: Monty and Olive have joined Alejandro’s fighting team. They’re all wearing sunglasses and hats and he’s teaching them how to spit.

Me: How terrifying.

Nell: It’s more messy than terrifying to be honest. Monty’s aim isn’t that good.

Me: Malcolm seems a lot happier now he’s started wearing sunglasses.

Nell: Yes, he’s almost back to his old self, apart from the occasional pickled herring. You look distracted.

Me: I am a bit.

Nell: You’re tracking Chris and Shannon’s flight from Toronto again, aren’t you?

Me: Yes. I just want them to be safely here.

Nell: They will be. This afternoon. Not long now and we will all be together.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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