Me: Don’t give me that Monday look.
Nell: What Monday look?
Me: It’s the What on Earth are You Going to Say Now look.
Nell: Well, go on then. Say it.
Me: This is going to sound silly, but you know Kev loves watching American Football?
Nell: Yes.
Me: And some of the family, including the large beasts, were watching it with him last night?
Nell: I prefer tennis myself, or a quiet round of golf.
Me: Yes. It’s such a confusing game. All that stopping and starting.
Nell: Monty the Moose tried to explain the rules but Alejandro and Olive said they were completely mystified.
Me: Mutley enjoys it even though he can hardly see and he definitely can’t hear.
Nell: It’s the theatre of it apparently. Gladys loves it and so does The Cat. Did you see what it was wearing? A sequinned bolero?
Me: I thought it looked rather smart. Anyway, talking of dressing up.
Nell: Yes?
Me: You’re going to laugh but I think Henry and Horst were wearing padding.
Nell: Padding?
Me: Yes. You know like the American footballers do. Big wide shoulders.
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous.
Me: I was surprised.
Nell: Henry and Horst don’t have shoulders.
Me: I never knew woodlice played American football.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: I suppose Henry would be a sprinter and Horst would be in defence because he’s twice Henry’s size.
Nell: Stop.
Me: I knew you wouldn’t believe me.
Nell: They were wearing life jackets.
Me: Life jackets?
Nell: Yes. After the incident with Kev’s bath.
Me: Kev’s bath?
Nell: They were on the tap and nearly fell in. Kev had to save them. They have now been issued with life jackets.
Me: What were they doing in there? Tap dancing?
Nell: Not funny.
Me: No. Sorry.
