Me: Where are the puppies?
Nell: Sleeping under the kitchen table after two rounds of bacon sandwiches. You need to stop calling them puppies. They are two year olds.
Me: I know. Where is Sally?
Nell: The Cat and Gladys have taken her to the spa for a pamper day. David wanted to go too but he fell asleep and we thought it best to leave him so Harriet stayed behind too.
Me: It’s been an exhausting time for everyone.
Nell: Yes, Knitwear Wolf only just got back from Dartmoor. He went by motorbike of course as David had to travel in the helicopter with Sally.
Me: I like his cardigan today. Dark red. Very Christmassy.
Nell: Rupert always dresses well and at this time of year appropriately too.
Me: This might sound a little fanciful, Nell, but I thought I saw a large caterpillar in a Trilby hat talking to itself in the garden.
Nell: Was it eating a Cornish pasty?
Nell: That’s Colin from The Chronicle. He’s not talking to himself. Don’t be silly.
Me: But he is eating a Cornish pasty and wearing a hat?
Nell: Of course. He’s a reporter. They have to grab food where they can. He’s interviewing Henry and Horst.
Me: I see. It all makes sense now.
Nell: The Chronicle is doing a piece on bravery and Henry and Horst are an obvious choice.
Me: I agree but I can never hear what they’re saying.
Nell: Nobody can, except David. He’s an excellent listener.
Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Me: Colin seems to be waving at us with his tail.
Nell: He probably needs his bowl of tea.
Me: Can’t he have a cup like everyone else?
Nell: He’s a caterpillar. No hands. Do keep up.
Me: Yes. Sorry.