Me: Dave’s fallen asleep in a top hat with his bowl in his paw.
Nell: Yes. He’s exhausted. He was breakdancing for the children earlier.
Nell: Yes. It’s something we all do.
Me: I thought you were just rolling on your backs. I’ve seen you do it lots of times.
Nell: Rolling on our backs? Didn’t you notice the careful twist of body and tail?
Me: Sort of.
Nell: It’s very complicated. Pay attention next time.
Me: I will.
Nell: The children were very impressed. Now, you will be pleased you hear that The Great Mutliano is making excellent progress with Malcolm.
Me: Oh good. I hope Alejandro wasn’t sawn in half.
Nell: No. He was rather disappointed so Gladys has promised him a slot in the next show.
Me: The next show?
Nell: Yes. The Great Mutliano has agreed to a Halloween Special. Anyway, back to Malcolm.
Me: How is he?
Nell: He isn’t at the grey stage yet but we have moved from primary colours to pastels.
Me: That’s a step in the right direction.
Nell: Timothy was able to eat his morning muesli without Malcolm throwing beakfuls of red cranberries in it.
Me: I like cranberries.
Nell: That’s not the point. It’s your little sister Alex’s birthday today, isn’t it?
Me: Yes. We’re taking her out to lunch.
Nell: I’ve written a poem. Shall I read it?
Me: Yes, please.
Nell: ‘My dear Alex I’m extremely delighted to say
Happy Birthday to you on your special day.
May there be sunshine and clear skies above
And cake and cuddles and oceans of love.
Throw your hats in the air and all shout ‘Hurrah’
Let’s celebrate the happiness of Alex’s day.’
Me: She will love it. You old softy.
Nell: I beg your pardon?