Bank holiday delivery

Me: Look at your cousins Boo, Seamus and Naughty Nigel in the bluebell wood.

Nell: Yes. You appear to be enjoying yourselves in leafy Buckinghamshire.

Me: We had a lovely time on our walk. The countryside is looking particularly beautiful at this time of year.

Nell: No sea there, of course. No beaches to walk along.

Me: I know. Is everything ok at home?

Nell: Mutley has an admirer.

Me: Really?

Nell: Yes. Someone left a bowl of cockles and a hunk of black bread on the doorstep this morning with a card saying ‘For lovely Mutley’.

Me: That will be laverbread. It’s made from seaweed. It’s ever so popular in Wales.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: A round corgi in a lace neckerchief and a tall hat was seen leaving the area with an empty basket.

Me: Probably collecting for charity.

Nell: No. Her basket was empty.

Me: Oh dear. Not one donation?

Nell: No. It was a delivery.

Me: Impressive. On a Bank Holiday.

Nell: For Mutley.

Me: Oh, I see. I wonder who it is.

Nell: We suspect Myfanwy. Her head is easily turned.

Me: Have you tried the laverbread?

Nell: Certainly not. We have more than enough seaweed in our lives without having to eat the stuff.

Me: What about Mutley?

Nell: He is having the cockles for tea and says Myfanwy is welcome to join him for quiet conversation but he can promise nothing more.

Me: Well, he is of a certain age now.

Nell: That’s not it. His heart belongs to Maggie, a beautiful American Shih Tzu from Pennsylvania.

Me: I never knew. By the way, I’m coming home tomorrow afternoon. Do you think you can collect me?

Nell: Now you tell me. I’ll have to change my hair appointment. Needs must I suppose.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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