Me: Look at your cousins Boo, Seamus and Naughty Nigel in the bluebell wood.
Nell: Yes. You appear to be enjoying yourselves in leafy Buckinghamshire.
Me: We had a lovely time on our walk. The countryside is looking particularly beautiful at this time of year.
Nell: No sea there, of course. No beaches to walk along.
Me: I know. Is everything ok at home?
Nell: Mutley has an admirer.
Me: Really?
Nell: Yes. Someone left a bowl of cockles and a hunk of black bread on the doorstep this morning with a card saying ‘For lovely Mutley’.
Me: That will be laverbread. It’s made from seaweed. It’s ever so popular in Wales.
Nell: Exactly.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: A round corgi in a lace neckerchief and a tall hat was seen leaving the area with an empty basket.
Me: Probably collecting for charity.
Nell: No. Her basket was empty.
Me: Oh dear. Not one donation?
Nell: No. It was a delivery.
Me: Impressive. On a Bank Holiday.
Nell: For Mutley.
Me: Oh, I see. I wonder who it is.
Nell: We suspect Myfanwy. Her head is easily turned.
Me: Have you tried the laverbread?
Nell: Certainly not. We have more than enough seaweed in our lives without having to eat the stuff.
Me: What about Mutley?
Nell: He is having the cockles for tea and says Myfanwy is welcome to join him for quiet conversation but he can promise nothing more.
Me: Well, he is of a certain age now.
Nell: That’s not it. His heart belongs to Maggie, a beautiful American Shih Tzu from Pennsylvania.
Me: I never knew. By the way, I’m coming home tomorrow afternoon. Do you think you can collect me?
Nell: Now you tell me. I’ll have to change my hair appointment. Needs must I suppose.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
