Nell: Would you mind dealing with David please?
Me: Why?
Nell: He is sulking in the living room.
Me: What’s happened?
Nell: Harriet is going up to London for a few days and he isn’t invited.
Me: She is going to see Sally, isn’t she?
Nell: Yes. They planned it ages ago. Shopping, dinner and a musical.
Me: Dave would love that.
Nell: I know.
Me: And Sally is his girlfriend.
Nell: I am aware.
Me: I’m on Dave’s side. It’s not fair.
Nell: Good grief. They just want to have a girly few days.
Me: But Harriet isn’t actually very girly.
Nell: Just go and talk to David, please. He refused a second boiled egg and left half of his hot buttered toast.
Me: Gosh.
Nell: Do you think I should arrange an Oyster cart for Harriet?
Me: Don’t you mean an Oyster card for public transport?
Nell: No. I mean an Oyster cart. It is shaped like a shell with comfortable seats and usually pulled by Weimaraners. Great fun.
Me: I’ve never seen one but I think it might struggle in the London traffic.
Nell: Yes. A travel card might be best and if she needs to be somewhere quickly she can always get a Tuba.
Me: I don’t think playing a musical instrument is going to help her.
Nell: What are you talking about? Tuba is a taxi service. Everyone has the App. Do keep up.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
