Me: Dave’s patrolling the garden.
Nell: Yes. It’s part of his duties.
Me: Why?
Nell: As Head of Security, David is essential to the success of our Big Plan.
Me: Dave is Head of Security?
Nell: Of course. Since he developed his Big Boy Bark and finished his martial arts training with Chris he is well equipped.
Me: I see. What exactly is the Big Plan?
Nell: We came up with it at our family meeting yesterday. I knew The Cat and its staple gun would be useful.
Me: So its all about the threat from the Beefies?
Nell: Yes. We can’t have Malcolm and Timothy attacked by wild Beefies hurling macarons and stale scones.
Me: Certainly not.
Nell: They are afraid to set foot outside.
Me: Dreadful.
Nell: Fortunately we have found a way to protect them.
Me: How?
Nell: Owl hats.
Me: Owl hats?
Nell: Yes. We turned to Poodle, as everyone does nowadays, and if you poodle a seagull you can get a lot of information.
Me: Don’t you mean google?
Nell: No. We all use Poodle. Anyway, it seems seagulls are scared of owls.
Me: Are they?
Nell: Yes, and that’s where the hats come in. Fortunately Timothy is quite the artist. Who knew?
Me: I certainly didn’t. Why do you need an artist?
Nell: For the owl faces of course. Do keep up. Timothy has drawn owl faces on pieces of cloth from The Cat’s dressing up box and we have fixed them on to their hats.
Me: Using The Cat’s staple gun?
Nell: Exactly. All Timothy and Malcolm need to do is to remember to put their hats on when they go outside.
Me: So the Beefies will think there are owls walking round the garden looking at the sky with long spindly legs?
Nell: I wouldn’t have put it quite like that but it should do the trick.
Me: Have they tried it out yet?
Nell: No, but they are poised at the door right now in their owl hats waiting for David to give the go ahead.
Me: How exciting.
Nell: Quiet. David just barked. They are going out.
Me: Ok. Sorry.
