Me: Harriet looks a bit shellshocked.

Nell: Of course she does. I’m not feeling my best either.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Talk about an anti climax.

Me: I know.

Nell: I had my hat on. Gladys was in my handbag. Poppy had made a few sandwiches just in case. I was ready to go.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And then Kev said he was just taking the puppies and Poppy and I were going to the vets on Monday.

Me: He thought it would be easier.

Nell: Well, I ate one of the sandwiches there and then. And so did Gladys.

Me: I don’t blame you.

Nell: You were about as much use as a gravy boat.

Me: Excuse me?

Nell: A boat made of gravy. Useless.

Me: I think you mean a chocolate teapot.

Nell: I think I do not.

Me: Anyway, why?

Nell: Upstairs in your writing bubble. In another world.

Me: I’ve got a lot of writing to do at the moment for the book.

Nell: Anyway, aren’t you wondering why Harriet is looking so shocked?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Emily the vet says she has to lose 2 kilos.

Me: Harriet?

Nell: Yes. David does too. He’s 44 kilos and should be 42. But he doesn’t care. He says he’ll just go surfing and skip Muttdonalds for a while. Personally I think he has a fine figure.

Me: He does. But Harriet only weighs 27 kilos.

Nell: Apparently 25 is the goal. So she is on a diet. She refused one of Poppy’s scones and asked for a piece of carrot.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: As I said to Poppy: “Where does this leave me?”

Me: Quite.

Nell: I’m not sure I was ever 25 kilos. This is all too much. I’m a veteran from 14th March you know. I will be 7.

Me: Yes.

Nell: A veteran needs the occasional scone. Ask anyone and they will agree.

Me: Except Emily the vet.

Nell: Not funny.

Me: Sorry.

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