Me: Harriet looks a bit shellshocked.
Nell: Of course she does. I’m not feeling my best either.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: Talk about an anti climax.
Me: I know.
Nell: I had my hat on. Gladys was in my handbag. Poppy had made a few sandwiches just in case. I was ready to go.
Nell: And then Kev said he was just taking the puppies and Poppy and I were going to the vets on Monday.
Me: He thought it would be easier.
Nell: Well, I ate one of the sandwiches there and then. And so did Gladys.
Me: I don’t blame you.
Nell: You were about as much use as a gravy boat.
Me: Excuse me?
Nell: A boat made of gravy. Useless.
Me: I think you mean a chocolate teapot.
Nell: I think I do not.
Me: Anyway, why?
Nell: Upstairs in your writing bubble. In another world.
Me: I’ve got a lot of writing to do at the moment for the book.
Nell: Anyway, aren’t you wondering why Harriet is looking so shocked?
Nell: Emily the vet says she has to lose 2 kilos.
Nell: Yes. David does too. He’s 44 kilos and should be 42. But he doesn’t care. He says he’ll just go surfing and skip Muttdonalds for a while. Personally I think he has a fine figure.
Me: He does. But Harriet only weighs 27 kilos.
Nell: Apparently 25 is the goal. So she is on a diet. She refused one of Poppy’s scones and asked for a piece of carrot.
Nell: As I said to Poppy: “Where does this leave me?”
Nell: I’m not sure I was ever 25 kilos. This is all too much. I’m a veteran from 14th March you know. I will be 7.
Nell: A veteran needs the occasional scone. Ask anyone and they will agree.
Me: Except Emily the vet.
Nell: Not funny.