Don’t drink out of the bird bath, David.

Nell: Is David drinking out of the bird bath again?

Me: Yes. Kev just filled it with fresh water.

Nell: I told him not to. It’s unhygienic.

Me: Yes. He has a huge bowl of water inside.

Nell: I’m not surprised he is thirsty. He and The Cat were eating bacon sandwiches and rapping by the quay this morning. I saw them.

Me: Red, or brown?

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: Sauce. I always choose brown. Did you say rapping?

Nell: Yes. It’s David’s latest craze. The Cat enjoys the bling of course. I’m surprised it can walk with all those gold chains.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: When he starts rapping at me I just tell him to chill.

Me: You do?

Nell: Yes, it was Mutley’s idea. It seems to work and he stops. The trouble with rapping is it tends to go on a long time so we just clip its claws.

Me: Don’t you mean nip it in the bud?

Nell: No. Anyway, I was having lunch with the girls after my Pilates class and word is that the Beefies have branched out.

Me: How?

Nell: Apparently they’ve started doing takeaways, hence the caps, and they are proving extremely popular.

Me: Everyone likes fish and chips I suppose and the fish is freshly caught.

Nell: It’s freshly stolen, you mean.

Me: It’s funny but even if they actually caught the fish I don’t think I would fancy it. All covered in seagull spit.

Nell: Seagull spit? What are you talking about? I worry about you sometimes.

Me: How’s Sebastian?

Nell: He’s fine. He’s invited me over to his place this evening for dinner on his terrace overlooking the bay.

Me: Lovely. Make sure James waits for you in the car. Just in case.

Nell: For Goodness Sake. Stop fussing.

Me: I can’t help it. There’s something fishy about Sebastian.

Nell: Do stop. Let me enjoy myself. I will be fine. Now pass me a scone, I only had salad for lunch.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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