Me: There’s something worrying going on at the Bus Stop.
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: Dave’s puffed out his cheeks.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: When Dave’s concerned he puffs his cheeks out before he barks.
Nell: It’ll be a llama cartwheeling, or something equally mundane.
Me: Harriet’s worried, too.
Nell: Well, go and have a look out of the window.
Me: I can see Knitwear Wolf.
Nell: In a cardigan?
Me: Yes. Forest green.
Nell: Anyone else?
Me: Stanley Smoochy and some Tupperware containers.
Nell: That’ll be the Spaghetti Bolognese for his pasta deliveries.
Me: Yes.
Nell: I don’t know why that would make Dave and Harriet concerned.
Me: Oh, there’s someone else with them.
Nell: Is it that dreadful Italian rook?
Me: No, it’s not Sponge Finger. It’s someone large and rather fluffy with blue eyes.
Nell: Did you say blue eyes?
Me: Yes.
Nell: Most unusual.
Me: Yes.
Nell: Light fluffy, or dark fluffy?
Me: Light fluffy. Sort of off-white, cream-coloured. Its hair needs a good brush, to be honest.
Nell: Oh dear.
Me: What’s wrong?
Nell: This is worrying.
Me: Why is it worrying? We can’t all have neat hair.
Nell: Is Stanley the only seagull?
Me: There are several Beefies flying around.
Nell: But none with hypnotic eyes?
Me: Not as far as I can see.
Nell: That’s a relief. I thought it might be Ramson Hunter with his nasty sidekick Sven Gully.
Me: The evil ram with the piercing blue eyes?
Nell: Yes.
Me: And the dastardly hypnotising Beefy?
Nell: Yes.
Me: It’s not them.
Nell: How do you know?
Me: It’s an alpaca.
Nell: Why didn’t you say that before?
Me: You didn’t ask me.
Nell: Yes, I did. But alpacas don’t usually have blue eyes.
Me: This one does. Sorry.
