Me: Harriet’s coat is such a beautiful conker brown, isn’t it?
Nell: I wonder if your audience in North America knows what a conker actually is.
Me: Don’t they have horse chestnut trees?
Nell: I don’t think they do.
Me: I’m sure someone will tell me.
Nell: Anyway, to answer your question, yes, Harriet has a lovely glossy earthy brown coat.
Me: Conker-brown, not earthy. Earthy is too flat. Conker is richer with warmer undertones.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: Just saying.
Nell: Can we move on?
Me: Of course.
Nell: Any movement on the cardigan front?
Me: Are we talking about Knitwear Wolf?
Nell: Who else?
Me: I was given a nice new cardigan by my sister Charlotte for my birthday.
Nell: I know. I was there.
Me: Oh yes.
Nell: Is Rupert wearing a cardigan?
Me: I’m afraid not. He isn’t even wearing a scarf.
Nell: This is most worrying.
Me: I know. The weather’s turned much colder again.
Nell: That’s not what I meant. Have you talked to Sally?
Me: I don’t think she’s very interested in cardigans. I think she has bigger things on her mind.
Nell: I meant about Rupert’s Italian connections.
Me: My phone didn’t suggest he was a Neapolitan Wolf if that’s what’s worrying you.
Nell: I’m talking about Stanley and the rook and the pasta deliveries.
Me: The pasta deliveries are a huge success.
Nell: That’s not the point.
Me: I think Rupert’s way of dealing with his grief is to keep busy.
Nell: He can keep busy distributing knitwear not pasta.
Me: You don’t think we’re going to have to call him Pasta Wolf now, do you?
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: Pasta Wolf sounds all wrong.
Nell: Stop right now. There will be no name changes.
Me: Of course. Sorry.
