Nell: Where is everyone? They ate their breakfast and left.

Me: Nigel and the Puppies are asleep in Kev’s studio.

Nell: Is Nigel on the bunk bed?

Me: Yes. He looks really comfortable.

Nell: Harriet likes to sleep up there.

Me: She doesn’t mind sharing, Nell. Nigel is her senior.

Nell: The only Senior Labrador around here is me.

Me: Nigel is 10 and he’s a rescue dog so he had a difficult start to life.

Nell: I’d forgotten that.

Me: I thought you might have.

Nell: I probably need to be kinder.

Me: I think you do.

Nell: Maybe I’ll sit next to him at lunch?

Me: He’s going to wonder why.

Nell: We could share a Yorkshire pudding or a roast potato?

Me: You don’t do sharing, Nell.

Nell: I don’t like people touching my food. Maybe we could sing a duet at Sunday Songs?

Me: Are you quite sure about that?

Nell: Maybe ‘That’s Amore’? Sunday Songs is Italian themed today. The Welsh Corgi Choir are dressed as gondoliers and they’re serving pizza at half time.

Me: Half time?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Sunday Songs doesn’t have a half time.

Nell: It does now. Someone kindly left a number of pizzas at the Village Hall.

Me: But you won’t manage your Sunday Roast.

Nell: Don’t be silly. We’re Labradors. We’ve never not managed anything.

Me: It seems a bit greedy. Were the pizzas in boxes or Tupperware containers?

Nell: What’s that got to do with anything?

Me: I just wondered.

Nell: Someone is kind enough to make us pizza and all you can do is wonder why they put them in Tupperware containers.

Me: I bet they have a thin crust and there’s no pineapple on any of them.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: Nothing. Sorry.

Nell: Is Nigel in your bedroom?

Me: No.

Nell: Be honest.

Me: He might be. Why?

Nell: He missed Morning Thoughts.

Me: I didn’t know he was part of Morning Thoughts.

Nell: When he’s visiting us his name is Nigel Martin and all Martins are required to be present at Morning Thoughts.

Me: I’m not. And neither is Kev.

Nell: Kev’s there.

Me: Wait a minute. Did you just say Kev was at Morning Thoughts?

Nell: Yes. Sometimes he’s not fully awake but he’s definitely there.

Me: What about me?

Nell: You’re definitely not there.

Me: Why?

Nell: Because you’re either sleeping or writing. And you can’t be trusted.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: You’re always sharing. Look at me and Nigel. We have a slight disagreement and now we’ve got a virus.

Me: You haven’t got a virus. You’ve gone viral.

Nell: Whatever.

Me: People love you, Nell. And Nigel.

Nell: It’s probably why he’s hiding upstairs in your bedroom.

Me: I wouldn’t call it hiding.

Nell: What would you call it?

Me: It is actually hiding. He’s hiding at the end of my bed.

Nell: Is he hiding from me?

Me: I don’t think so.

Nell: Haven’t you asked him?

Me: I didn’t want to pry.

Nell: You didn’t want to pry? You’re always sticking your nose into other people’s business.

Me: I wouldn’t call it that. I’m naturally curious.

Nell: Tell me about it.

Me: I can’t. I don’t know why he’s hiding.

Nell: Ask him.

Me: Just like that?

Nell: He’s at the end of your bed.

Me: I don’t really want to bother him.

Nell: Nobody hides at the end of a bed for no reason.

Me: Fine, I’ll do it.

Nell: Well, go on then. We haven’t got all day.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Look at darling Marvin all cuddled up in the warm.

Nell: I’m glad he’s out of the cold.

Me: Talking of cold, you need to listen to me about going out in this weather, Nell. It’s not good for you to get wet.

Nell: I like an afternoon stroll.

Me: Only if it’s not raining.

Nell: Moving on, did I hear you say Nigel is going to be visiting?

Me: Yes. Nigel and my sister Charlotte are coming for the weekend.

Nell: Is Nigel aware of the dog bed situation?

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: There’s a distinct lack of dog beds in this house at the moment,

Me: I’ve told you they’re at the dry cleaners.

Nell: And I need to be accommodated first.

Me: Yes, we all know that.

Nell: David and Harriet don’t.

Me: They do. They just like to lie in a nice comfortable bed occasionally, too.

Nell: As long as everyone is on the same page. I come first as Senior Labrador.

Me: You do. I can tell you’re still grumpy, Nell.

Nell: We all are.

Me: Is it the rain?

Nell: No. I’m afraid we’ve had to disband the Spaghetti Bolognese Club.

Me: Oh no. Why?

Nell: It’s pointless without Italians.

Me: Maybe we can find some?

Nell: Don’t be silly. This is Devon not Tuscany.

Me: It’s worth a try.

Nell: If you do find an Italian they might not be able to cook.

Me: Maybe.

Nell: And if they can cook, they might not want to share.

Me: Let’s try and find one first.

Nell: And if they do want to share will they have any Tupperware containers?

Me: Stop finding reasons to be grumpy.

Nell: Just saying. Did I hear Nigel arrive?

Me: Yes, I’m afraid you did. Sorry.

Me: Look at all the snow in Toronto.

Nell: No wonder Marvin doesn’t want to go out.

Me: Some dogs love the snow.

Nell: We’re Labradors not Pyrenean Mountain Dogs.

Me: Talking of Pyrenean, how’s Pamela?

Nell: My friend Dorothy says she’s walking out with a rather dapper Highland Terrier.

Me: Is he from around here?

Nell: No, she met him on one of those dating sites. Growlmates.

Me: Interesting.

Nell: He lives in Edinburgh which is a nuisance but not insurmountable.

Me: Are you feeling any happier today?

Nell: Not really.

Me: So, the spaghetti bolognese didn’t work?

Nell: It lacked Stanley’s Italian touch. What about you?

Me: I enjoyed it.

Nell: You look a little off today.

Me: I woke up with an awful migraine.

Nell: Poor you. Migraines are frightful things.

Me: I’ve always suffered from them particularly in this kind of weather.

Nell: Yes, it simply won’t stop raining.

Me: It feels like everything’s falling apart at the moment. Including me,

Nell: Stop that negative talk.

Me: Maybe our grumpiness has nothing to do with spaghetti bolognese and everything to do with this awful weather?

Nell: Maybe? We need to find something positive.

Me: We do.

Nell: We should say a big thank you to everyone who kindly bought us a cup of Earl Grey.

Me: Yes, we should. Thank you so much.

Nell: As I’ve told you many times before, people can be very kind if you allow them to be.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: And that’s why I’m going to tuck you up in front of the fire with a nice cup of Earl Grey.

Me: Thank you.

Nell: I have one of Rupert’s soft blankets and David can sing to you if you wish.

Me: I might give the singing a miss. Sorry.

Nell: You need to talk to David.

Me: What’s he done now?

Nell: He’s in my bed.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: When I asked him politely to move he stuck his tongue out at me.

Me: Maybe he was playing Cheeky Animals?

Nell: And when I asked him again he closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

Me: Maybe he’s tired?

Nell: This bad behaviour all started when the spaghetti bolognese stopped.

Me: Maybe he’s suffering spaghetti bolognese withdrawal symptoms?

Nell: Maybe you could stop making excuses for him?

Me: The trouble is we’re missing two beds because they’re at the dry cleaners.

Nell: David can sit on the sofa, or your chair. He knows I can’t get up there anymore.

Me: You’re absolutely right. I’m going to talk to him and ask him to apologise.

Nell: Good.

Me: I’m also going to ask Herr Hoffmann if we can have spaghetti bolognese for dinner. I can’t have Davey suffering like this.

Nell: David’s not suffering. He’s just being naughty.

Me: It isn’t like him. He’s normally such a good boy.

Nell: Not anymore.

Me: Should I try talking to him in Italian?

Nell: You don’t speak Italian.

Me: I did the day before yesterday.

Nell: Harriet’s not herself.

Me: She’s a spy. It’s part of the job.

Nell: No, she’s out of sorts.

Me: You’ve been a bit grumpy too, recently.

Nell: I have not.

Me: You have, Nell.

Nell: Don’t complain. My grumpiness has made me an internet sensation.

Me: Let’s see if a nice bowl of spaghetti bolognese this evening lifts the mood.

Nell: And if it doesn’t?

Me: Then it’s not the lack of spaghetti bolognese making you all like this.

Nell: It could still be the lack of Stanley Smoochy’s bolognese.

Me: Yes. You’re right. Sorry.

Nell: You look tired.

Me: I had a very early start to my day.

Nell: Why?

Me: Ask Dave.

Nell: What’s he done now?

Me: He had a large drink of water before rushing upstairs to see me at 5am this morning and threw it up all over the bed.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: It wasn’t the best way to be woken up.

Nell: Did you have to change the bed?

Me: I had to change everything. Pillows, duvet, bed cover. Everything.

Nell: That’s worse than putting your nose in the mashed potato.

Me: An interesting comparison but I agree.

Nell: David might have to lie low today.

Me: At least I managed to do a lot of writing before the sun came up.

Nell: Yes, there is that.

Me: And I know he didn’t mean it. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Did he help you change the bed?

Me: No. He went back downstairs, climbed in to my armchair and went back to sleep.

Nell: He wasn’t very sorry about the mashed potato either.

Me: These things happen.

Nell: Did anyone offer you a cappuccino, or some biscotti?

Me: Funnily enough nobody seemed to be around, apart from a few tractors.

Nell: Farmers work hard.

Me: Yes, they do.

Nell: I think you might have to have a mid-morning nap.

Me: I think you might be right.

Nell: Or an afternoon one?

Me: Or both?

Nell: Shall I organise a nice cup of Earl Grey and some hot buttered toast?

Me: That would be absolutely lovely.

Nell: Would you like a lightly boiled egg on the side?

Me: I wouldn’t say no.

Nell: I’ll keep David downstairs, shall I?

Me: Maybe. Just for now.

Nell: Really?

Me: No. Let him come upstairs. I need my morning cuddles. Sorry.

Me: Have you seen Dave? I’m missing my morning cuddle.

Nell: David is downstairs on the living room Being Theatrical.

Me: Being Theatrical?

Nell: Yes.

Me: How?

Nell: He’s resting his head on the footstool and it looks like he’s Sulking.

Me: Maybe he is. Do we know why?

Nell: There was no Tupperware at the Bus Stop this morning.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: And I’m afraid David has become used to starting his day with a Spaghetti Bolognese.

Me: I’m sure they’ll be one tomorrow.

Nell: I’m not. The Cat said Stanley Smoochy has left.

Me: Without saying goodbye?

Nell: Why would he say goodbye to The Cat?

Me: I meant to you. You’re his special lady.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: ‘Bellissimi fiori per una bella signora.’

Nell: I don’t know what that means.

Me: Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady.

Nell: When did you learn Italian?

Me: I don’t know.

Nell: Did you take the Spaghetti Bolognese?

Me: No, of course not. But I had a few delicious biscotti with my morning cappuccino.

Nell: You don’t drink coffee.

Me: It was on my desk. It would have been rude not to.

Nell: On your desk?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Was there a note?

Me: Not really.

Nell: Not really?

Me: Someone wrote ‘goditi‘ in the foam on top of the cappuccino.

Nell: Goditi?

Me: It means enjoy.

Nell: And how do you know what it means?

Me: I just do.

Nell: Were the biscotti in a Tupperware?

Me: Yes, you can have one if you want.

Nell: Interesting. Was the window open?

Me: Yes, I always open it in the morning.

Nell: Carrying the cappuccino can’t have been easy.

Me: It was on a little tray.

Nell: Why didn’t you tell me that before?

Me: Sorry.

Nell: Please don’t say you can’t believe it’s February already.

Me: I’m not going to. January seemed to be an awfully long month this year.

Nell: It always is.

Me: All the rain and snow and storms didn’t help.

Nell: Let’s hope the weather improves.

Me: Yes.

Nell: It’s the first of the month so you know what you need to do.

Me: Share the link to the website where people can support us?

Nell: Yes, please.

Me: It’s https://buymeacoffee.com/saramartin.

Nell: Well done.

Me: And thank you so much in advance. It honestly makes a difference.

Nell: It does. Thank you.

Me: Have you seen the Puppies?

Nell: They’re under the kitchen table.

Me: Why?

Nell: David was watching ‘Stranger Things’ and it scared the living daylights out of him.

Me: I told him not to do that.

Nell: We all did. There are enough monsters around in the real world without watching more.

Me: I agree.

Nell: Harriet has calmed him down and he says he might manage a roast dinner later.

Me: Well, that’s a relief.

Nell: He managed two bacon sandwiches so things can’t be that bad.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Sunday Songs is outside today.

Me: Why?

Nell: The Big Cat Vibe are performing and there’s not a lot of room in the Village Hall for several lions and a tiger.

Me: Not to mention Dave.

Nell: And the llamas need space for their interpretive dance.

Me: Do you think they’re going to want me to join in after my triumph with the tap dancing?

Nell: Triumph?

Me: Only joking. I’m singing, not dancing.

Nell: You are not.

Me: I used to be in the school choir and the operatic society.

Nell: Good grief. It’s February 2026 not the 1970’s.

Me: Yes. Sorry.