Me: Why is Harriet sitting at the top of the stairs watching everyone?

Nell: I’ve no idea.

Me: I can’t be sure, but I think she stuck her tongue out at me.

Nell: Oh. She’s probably playing Cheeky Animals then.

Me: Cheeky Animals?

Nell: Yes. She’s the current champion.

Me: I’ve never heard of that game.

Nell: We play it all the time. Kev is very good at it.

Me: How do you play?

Nell: You have to watch someone closely and then secretly stick your tongue out at them. If they catch you then you lose.

Me: I caught Harriet.

Nell: Yes, but did you? You have to be sure.

Me: I’m almost sure.

Nell: But did you shout ‘Cheeky Animal’?

Me: No. I didn’t know I had to.

Nell: Then it doesn’t count.

Me: Oh.

Nell: Harriet is an excellent player. She has an innocent face.

Me: What about my Big Brave Beautiful Boy?

Nell: Absolute rubbish.

Me: That’s a bit harsh.

Nell: David is far too obvious. He sticks his tongue right out and smiles.

Me: I bet Poppy’s good at it.

Nell: Yes. She’s very quick.

Me: I bet Henry and Horst are quick.

Nell: Woodlice don’t have tongues. Do keep up.

Me: Oh yes.

Nell: Well, that takes the biscuit.

Me: What?

Nell: That wretched Rolls Royce is outside again and it’s full of Welsh corgis.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: All wearing velvet hats, I might add, and none of them social distancing.

Me: Is the Irish Wolfhound driving?

Nell: Of course.

Me: Did he wave?

Nell: No. He never takes any notice of anyone. Just waits for someone to get in or out and drives off.

Me: He wouldn’t be very good at Cheeky Animals then.

Nell: That is not the point.

Me: No. Sorry.

Nell: If you could stop cuddling David for a moment I have something to tell you.

Me: Oh dear. Look at my greying hair.

Nell: Never mind that now. We are all struggling with lockdown hair at the moment. You don’t hear me complain.

Me: Can’t Dave and I cuddle and listen? You know how much we enjoy our morning cuddles. It sets us up for the day.

Nell: No you can’t. I need your full attention.

Me: Ok. I’m all ears.

Nell: Don’t be silly. Even rabbits aren’t all ears.

Me: It’s just a saying. I’m listening.

Nell: Our Penguin is wearing a velvet beret.

Me: Really? What colour?

Nell: Burgundy. But that’s not the point.

Me: No.

Nell: There’s more and you’re not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: Gladys was seen getting into a Rolls Royce down at the quay.

Me: A Rolls Royce? You don’t see many of those around here.

Nell: Quite. Especially driven by an Irish Wolfhound.

Me: Now that is unusual.

Nell: Wearing a chauffeur’s cap.

Me: I definitely haven’t seen that before. Do we know where she went?

Nell: Of course we don’t. You can’t know where someone has gone until they come back.

Me: True. Was Gladys wearing velvet?

Nell: You know she was. And satin gloves.

Me: What about Our Penguin?

Nell: Penguins don’t wear gloves. They haven’t got hands.

Me: I mean does Our Penguin know where she is?

Nell: Our Penguin is being very tight beaked about the whole thing.

Me: Maybe we should ask Princess?

Nell: Good idea. Seals are notoriously fickle. Offer them a fish and they’ll bark.

Me: To be fair, Nell, most dogs will bark for a biscuit.

Nell: I think most is a slight exaggeration, don’t you?

Me: Yes. Sorry.