Me: Happy Christmas, Nell. You’re awake early.
Nell: Happy Christmas. Where’s your hat?
Me: I’m going to put mine on later.
Nell: Hats are to be worn at all times.
Me: Dave looks a little disgruntled in that photo. Is it the hat?
Nell: No, David saw Herr Hoffmann put bacon on the turkey and he still hasn’t recovered. Bacon belongs in sandwiches.
Me: It helps keep the turkey moist and gives it a good flavour.
Nell: You know that Notorious Vegetarian James Beddall thinks we should be eating a nut roast instead of turkey, don’t you?
Me: A lot of people and most birds would agree.
Nell: I’m not a bird. I’m a Labrador.
Me: Well, Dave isn’t going to be disgruntled for long. Sally is here and the children are giving him endless cuddles.
Nell: Andre kindly brushed our hair ready for Christmas.
Me: Yes. He was especially gentle with you.
Nell: I noticed.
Me: Does Harriet know Jim the Farm Dog is going to join us for Christmas Dinner?
Nell: No, but she will if you don’t lower your voice.
Me: I’m having a wonderful Christmas, Nell.
Nell: I know you are.
Me: I’m making memories that will stay with me for ever.
Nell: Yes.
Me: I know there are some out there who are not having such a happy Christmas.
Nell: Yes.
Me: And I hope if they’re reading this they feel part of our Christmas and know they are loved.
Nell: They are. We care about them very much.
Me: We really do.
Nell: Now, enough chat. You have grandchildren patiently waiting to open their presents by the fire.
Me: What a wonderful thought.
Nell: It isn’t a thought, it’s a fact. Put your hat on and join us. It’s Christmas Day.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
